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2 Bumps

Is it just me or is he being controlling?

My father ran into an old friend of mine, that just happens to be a guy... I have known him since I was 14. We lose touch with eachother and yet somehow always end up crossing paths down the line. When I told my husband that my father ran into this friend my husband flat out told me that if I talked to this friend at all he would leave and never come back. This friend maybe a guy but only a friend and has never been anything more. What pisses me off more about it is that my husband still talks to his ex that when we first me he openly admitted that she was "the one that got away". He knows it annoys me that he talks to her and hangs out with her occasionally but I haven't and never would tell him that he couldn't talk to her or I would leave... Is it just me or is this messed up?

 
justduckie_mom

Asked by justduckie_mom at 10:14 PM on Sep. 17, 2010 in Relationships

Level 16 (3,047 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I have been married for 11 years, and if my husband threatened to leave me for talking to any of my friends I would show him the door and explain how the handle works.

    Yes, it does seem a little messed up. You are his wife, not his child.
    ivy102381

    Answer by ivy102381 at 10:21 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • I would suggest the 4 of you go out for dinner. See how he likes them apples. I wouldn't stand for it. I wouldn't stand for him talking with an ex to begin with. It's disrespectful. It has nothing to do with him not being your child, and you not having the right to tell him who he can and cannot be friends with. If it bothers you who he is friends with, if it causes a problem between the two of you, for good reason, then that friendship should be ended. Which relationship is more important? It's not about controlling either. But, since he wants to be such a butt, then I would fight back. Call him on his shit.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 10:32 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • the world famous double... ITs not fair & in some ways it is controlling, you need to let him know if its okay for him to talk to AN EX than you have very single right to talk to a friend. if he doesn't like it, then he shouldn't be doing it to you. Best of luck.
    lilmoosesmom

    Answer by lilmoosesmom at 10:21 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • Ugh. I would be highly upset if 'the one that got away' was still talking to my husband and he found that okay. =/
    That's a no-no.
    And yes that is controlling.
    Mrs.Halloween

    Answer by Mrs.Halloween at 10:28 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • Sounds pretty crazy to me. It's a shitty double standard that he can continue to talk to his ex but you can't even have a male friend. I would say you have a huge problem here. And frankly, it sound a little fishy (as far as his faithfulness).
    emilex

    Answer by emilex at 11:00 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • I would tell him that if he can talk to his ex, his "one that got away," then you can talk to your FRIEND that was never anything but a friend. It does sound pretty messed up that he told you that. But he needs to realize that people can be friends with the opposite sex wtihout there being any sex. and if it bothers your that he talks to his ex, I would let him know that it bothers you. Maybe he would understand how you feel and either stop, or be open to you continuing your friendship with this friend that isn't always there, but always finds a way back.
    QueenMomma2023

    Answer by QueenMomma2023 at 11:57 AM on Sep. 18, 2010

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