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4 Bumps

How can I get my man to trust me more?

His ex wife used to cheat on him, so I guess hes waiting for me to do it too...But I never ever would dream of it, I LOVE this man. But everything I do he has his little comments thinking either I have or am going to cheat on him. How do I make him trust me more???

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Jessaroo1987

Asked by Jessaroo1987 at 12:10 AM on Sep. 18, 2010 in Relationships

Level 9 (313 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • He needs to seek counseling. These are his issues, not yours. Nothing you do is going to fix it.
    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 12:13 AM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • Behave completely openly all the time. Do not lie -not even 'oh, your socks look fine'...when you're mad, admit you're mad, even if it's 'too petty to matter.'

    Love has surprisingly little to do with infidelity.

    If he doesn't understand the part he played in creating the conditions that made infidelity a good idea in his last marriage, he's going to have a hard time figuring out how to avoid it in this one. And if he's delusional enough to think it 'came out of the air' he's insane.

    Everyone involved in a relationship is involved. They may not understand how the 'normal' things they're doing provoke or invite infidelity in others... but they are materially responsible for the depth of honesty and reality of their relationships. Denial is a fun place to visit, but it does nothing to remove responsibility.

    I recommend Conscious Loving by Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks.
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 12:22 AM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • sounds like his prob not urs
    harris4

    Answer by harris4 at 12:23 AM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • I agree he may need to seek counseling to fix that issue. Or u can tell him that I am not like ur ex-wife I won't ever cheat on u cause I love you with all my heart and I have no reason to cheat on you. And I am different than her. I am devoted on you and that it.
    andmaef28

    Answer by andmaef28 at 12:24 AM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • Just be honest don't lie to cheat
    jessesmama22

    Answer by jessesmama22 at 12:27 AM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • You can't. But he will make other problems if he keeps this up. He has anxiety, and he needs to find a way to deal with this. You can try to reassure him, but if you do too much, he may think you are trying to cover your tracks. So, just try to ignore his antics. I guess when he makes comments, tell him to bugger off. Sooner or later, he should give up and move on with his life. With you. If not, he should look into therapy.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 12:30 AM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • seek counselling, and also be a totally open book. And let him know how much of a open book you are. Really I have seen this before he will gain trust in himself that he isn't inlove with a women that cheats. Cause thats really whats its about not you, but he has the issue, cause he doesn't feel good eough that this will not repeat in his new relationship. Thats where therapy comes into play.
    whoreallycares

    Answer by whoreallycares at 1:21 AM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • I don't think its your problem, its HIS!!!! I would be so hurt, not ALL women do the same thing!
    NicolesMommy

    Answer by NicolesMommy at 2:06 AM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • He's got some issues that he needs to work out. Just be there for him, no matter what, and tell him all the time how you are not like his ex-wife. Be totally open and honest, don't hide anything. And in time, he will come around. He is probably still hurting from the betrayal by her, but you can heal it.
    QueenMomma2023

    Answer by QueenMomma2023 at 10:52 AM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • Never do anything to make him question be completely honest and everything and sooner or later he will trust you. I went through the same thing
    LiLJeni

    Answer by LiLJeni at 11:00 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

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