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3 Bumps

Do you think my fiance should be upset?

I have a best guy friend of 8 years we use to do everything together and I do mean everything lol but we haven't done anything like that for like 5 years and we are just friends now is it wrong for my fiance to get upset if we spend time together? He finally let him and his girlfriend come over and have dinner with us the other night it went okay but you could tell he wasn't to happy that he was here.

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jessesmama22

Asked by jessesmama22 at 1:48 AM on Sep. 18, 2010 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,311 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Sure!! He has the right to his feelings, just as you and I do! What do you mean by (everything lol)? Is that the exact way you explained the relationship to ur fiance, if so than I can understand his hesitancy.
    truthteller0722

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 1:53 AM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • No its not wrong for ur fiance to get upset that u spend time with guy friend that has been ur friend for 8yrs. Its acturally perfectly natural the reason why he is acting like that is b/c he may have a feeling that u may leave him for ur best guy friend. Its like this what if ur fiance have best girl friend would u get upset if they were spending time together. And u weren't happy that she was there. U really have to look at his side a little and do spend a lot of time with ur guy friend than him.
    andmaef28

    Answer by andmaef28 at 1:56 AM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • I don't think that your fiance should begrudge you being friends with guys, but, on the other hand, I think you should stop and think about it like this... If the situation were reversed - and it was him that was hanging around all the time, doing everything together with some girl that he used to have sex with, how comfortable would YOU be with wanting to be friends with her, have her over to your house, etc? Remember - we aren't talking about you and your friend, where you're the one in the friendship. You would be the "outsider" looking in, seeing the man you love talking to, hanging out with, etc all the time with a woman that he used to have sex with...

    If you're comfortable with it, then you need to try to explain why to him, to help him understand where you're coming from without being upset with him. If you wouldn't be comfortable with it, then you need to maybe re-think just how close you are to your friend now.
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 1:56 AM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • well, that is touchy for your fiance". My hubby got real mad (italian temper) when I talked on to the phone for the 1st time. I haven't heard or seen him in 30 years! I AM married. IF I was going to cheat then I wouldn't talk to him while he was in the house. lol Try to make him understand & tell him not to be insecure, he is your FIANCE' for a reason, right?
    NicolesMommy

    Answer by NicolesMommy at 2:01 AM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • That's all great with being honest with your fiance but i can understand him feeling like this. Ya what do you mean EVERYTHING lol it may have been 5 yrs but maybe your fiance sees the looks between you two and that makes him uncomfortable. I think that it is very disrespectful on your part for being mad and putting your fiance in that postion. I would be upset too.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 3:45 AM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • He is entitled to feel any way he wants to. I'm with the other ladies. Put yourself in his shoes. Look at it from his perspective. And what is "everything"?

    Maybe you should just let the guys get to know each other, and they can become friends and then all you guys can be a big happy friendship circle and hang out together without all the tensions.
    QueenMomma2023

    Answer by QueenMomma2023 at 11:07 AM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • If he trusts you he has no reason to be upset.
    KairisMama

    Answer by KairisMama at 12:36 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • It is hard to have friends with the oppsite sex these days. I suppose its because their thinking is, "well she went to bed with me and we we're married. What's to say she won't go to bed with someone else?" There is also the issue of boundries. Yours may be wide open. His may be a lot narrower. I mean, if he doesn't trust you now. What makes you so sure he will after you are married. WARNING: Please get this resolved now. Two factors. If you don't you may find yourself without a fiance. Two: After you married you may find yourself without any friends, him accusing you of sleeping around, and him being VERY CONTROLing. I've seen it happen. I had it happen to me. Come to find out, he was cheating on me! Go figure....This time i did it right. Didn't sleep with him b4 I married him. He trust me with everyone. He's not controling!!! Pray about it..
    Prayerpartner

    Answer by Prayerpartner at 3:23 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • Five years ago or not, your fiance pictures you guys having sex, plain and simple. Of course he's not comfortable and he's right to have those feelings.
    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 12:06 AM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • Feelings are right or wrong they are feelings...but do I think he is being over zealous about it yes
    LiLJeni

    Answer by LiLJeni at 12:29 AM on Sep. 19, 2010

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