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Anyone have any advice on how to get one of my twin 6 yr olds to stop lying? We've covered all the reasons why it isn't a good idea, along with all the reasons telling the truth is a good idea, but when faced with a dilemma, she choses to lie, even over silly things....help!

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twogirlsmom02

Asked by twogirlsmom02 at 6:22 PM on Jul. 1, 2008 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (7)
  • It's possible that she simply sees things differently than you do so maybe it's not lying per se. It's possible she wants attention. It's possible she has a vivid imagination and just makes things up and convinces herself they are real. There are many reasons for children lying. I have a six yr old grandson who does it and an 18 yr old grandson who consistently lies. We've learned to discern where the truth is and where the "fluff" is with the older one but are still working on the six yr old. I usually make him tell me "the whole story" like I have no desire to hear anything else in the world. It gives him undivided attention and if he's lying then he'll stop and say "wait, that's not right" then start a new story or "I can't remember".
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:01 PM on Jul. 1, 2008

  • Most kids don't realize what a lie is until 7 or even 8 years old. She she isn't lying like you think of a lie, she's saying something she wishes were true (I didn't do it) or something more interesting (a lion spilled the milk).

    I'd say things like:
    It would be nice if your imaginary friend bite Tommy. That does make a much nicer story. Let's go apologize and then you need to sit in time-out.
    A lion spilled the milk? Wow! I wish I'd seen that. Please help me clean it up.

    Encourage her imagination, even praise her for it, while letting her know that she needs to help to help fix the problem and take responsibility for her actions. You don't need to say things like "stop lying!" or "I know that's a lie."
    kaycee14

    Answer by kaycee14 at 11:10 PM on Jul. 1, 2008

  • verify everything she says in a way that she knows you are doing it. tell her you lie so i don't trust you.
    princezzmommie

    Answer by princezzmommie at 1:12 AM on Jul. 2, 2008

  • It's normal at this age for kids to start "fudging" the truth. I have a 6 year old that is doing the same thing and so is her friend that lives across the street who is also 6. I found a great resource on babycenter.com. Click on the top where it says big kid. Then click the link that says behavior problems. You can then put in your child's age and pick the problem like lying on the drop down menu. It lists different types of lyes, why they do it and how to deal with it. it's really helped me to deal with our little girls lying.
    Sammieanne

    Answer by Sammieanne at 10:26 AM on Jul. 2, 2008

  • i rewad in a parenting mag that kids dont know they are lying they are just telling us what they know is the right thing to do or what they actually wanted to do. try to say are you telling me a story instead of are you lying. and say things like i know you didnt want to write on the wall but...thats what happened. make sure she tells you the truth before going on to whatever else and then say yes thats what really happened thankyou for telling me the truth i like when you tell me what really happens. you might have to start praising even the little things she tells truth about.
    jaes347

    Answer by jaes347 at 3:08 PM on Jul. 2, 2008

  • In our house, we only spank our child for 2 reasons: lying and disobedience. I tell him that lying is about the worst thing he can do. I'd rather he tell me the truth and face the consequences (which is usually a logical consequence) than get caught in a lie which not only causes a logical consequence, but now he gets a spanking on top of it. For Ex. our son isn't allowed to watch Cartoon Network w/o telling us what is about to be on air. Today I caught him watching CN on his own. He said he had just turned the TV to that channel and had been watching "NickToon" some harmnless animal cartoon. So, I typed in, "TV Guide.com" and looked see exactly what was showing at that time on the channel he "said" he was watching when I came in the room. Little booger was right. Took some effort to prove. But I'm glad to catch him in a "truth." Reward that behavior, too!
    shortcut

    Answer by shortcut at 3:56 AM on Jul. 5, 2008

  • The lying with my step daughter was out of control at that age. They are learning to write, so in the beginning I wrote "I will not lie" on the top of a piece of paper and made her write it 5 times. The next time, in the same day if she got caught lying she would have to write it 10 times, and so on and so on. She got the point, and it helped with her writing skills as well. I made her take the paper home to her mom's since we only had her every other weekend and put it on their refrigerator. It embarassed her that every one knew about it, and she eventually stopped lying as much.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:04 PM on Jul. 7, 2008

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