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4 Bumps

:ubby told me to leave...

Last night he asked me to leave. He told our daughter he was divorcing me. I was upset and we were fighting. I didn't leave last night because I was so distraught. Our fight was terrible. He told me that he was done with me and he didn't care about me. So this morning I got up early, cleaned the house really good, let him sleep in, bathed the babies, took a good bath, and kissed him gooddbye. I told him I loved him and he said "Whatever". I love him a lot but I respect his wishes. I know that he doesn't like certain personality traits that I have. I've went to counseling and I've tried every day to be who he wants me to be...cont...

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:31 AM on Sep. 18, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • Cont...but I have realized that I am who I am. I can try to change my behavior and work to be good to him but I can't be someone I am not. I wish I was the girl he wants me to me and God knows I've tried but it always comes back to me being the girl I am. He is the love of my life and we have 3 girls together. He asked me to leave the girls with him and I complied. He is a good dad. So I am not sure what to do now. I am sitting in my car crying and writting this on my phone. I just feel lost and lonely. I have no one. I really don't know what to do at all.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:37 AM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • If he can not except you for who you are. You do not need him in your life. He knew this about you when he married you, didn't he?
    I am like this with every body. "I am not going to change who I am for knowbody" If you do not like/love me for who I am. Leave me alone. Get out of my face. Stay true to who you are . It is him not you who is in the wrong.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 11:38 AM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • He's being childish and hurtful. I'm so sorry your heart is broken, but it is time to move on if that's how he's going to act.

    Healing thoughts to you, mamma :(
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 11:40 AM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • My question is...why are you leaving your babies with him? Why should he get everything he wants? Since he wants to end it, he should be the one that leaves. You should keep your babies with you even if you decide to be the one that leaves. Those little girls need to be with their mommy right now. What man would turn to their children and hurt them out right? Really why would you want to leave your girls with a man who was so insensitive to their feelings to just blurt out that he was divorcing you?
    Mrs.Halloween

    Answer by Mrs.Halloween at 11:41 AM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • Do you know where you are going to go from here? Are you going to try to work it out with him after he has some time to cool down? I mean, he knew who you were when he married you, right? You shouldn't have to change for someone, but I can tell you this much....I would never have left my kids, but that is just me. If I was told to leave, my kids would have gone with me.
    fallnangel93

    Answer by fallnangel93 at 11:41 AM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • I'm so sorry your feeling this way. Men can be jerks sometimes. I hope it gets better and I hope he realizes how much this is hurting you
    Smiley001

    Answer by Smiley001 at 11:43 AM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • I didn't want to disrupt the kids. Its not like I would abondan them. I did ask him to leave but he said no that it was his house. What is the point of pissing him off more?? I just don't know what to do now. I thought about going to the Y and spending time working out energy and then getting a hotel room for the night. I am wayyyyyyy to embarrassed to call my sisters and tell them how messed up I am. I know I should but it is too embarrassing to me.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:52 AM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • I'd love to stay married but I can't make him love me. If this is his choice its what I have to live with.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:54 AM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • Legally the house is both of yours if you are married. And make him fight for the right to have those girls. He can get you for abandonment.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 11:57 AM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • He already disrupted them though. By forcibly confronting them and letting them know it was a definite divorce. That was cruel. What are your little girls thinking right now? What is your soon to be ex husband telling them? Do you really believe he's consoling them? Or is he being even more cruel by telling them things that may be even more damaging? Honestly, I would have never left my daughter with my soon to be ex husband if he was acting so immature like that. Why do you feel embarrassed? He's the one who should be embarrassed. He's the one who's acting like a straight up 3 year old having a temper tantrum and wanting everything to go his way. You need to stand up for yourself momma. You need to be strong for those little girls.
    Mrs.Halloween

    Answer by Mrs.Halloween at 12:00 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

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