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Should I confront the parents or simply tell the child not to come back?

My neighborhood has plenty of kids in it, there's some who are good friends to my kids (ages 5 and 4) and others that I'd rather my kids not be around. An 8 year old girl who lives down the street has been suspected of stealing from my yard on several occasions, when confronted she denies it but then the missing item will reappear a couple days after the confrontation. My neighbor also caught her and her brother sneaking into his backyard from the side door in the fence and you have to go through my yard to go to his yard through that gate and this was around 9:30 at night. Today she and another kid came by my house asking for my girls, I told them the girls were at their dad's house and then had to tell them to leave the yard - I watched out an upstairs window to see if they'd leave, the girl signaled to the boy to be quiet and follow her and they then both walked back into my yard. I told them both not to come back again.

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momof2inCT2007

Asked by momof2inCT2007 at 3:35 PM on Sep. 18, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 16 (2,733 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I would be talking to the parent/s about their childrens behaviours and tell them and the child if you catch them in your yard stealing again you will be calling the cops.
    anikahaynes1

    Answer by anikahaynes1 at 3:39 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • I wouldn't be too hard on them- they're just kids, maybe have a serious talk with the kids about the expectaions you will have for them when they are at your house. I'd also use this as an oppurtunity to talk to your kids about appropriate behavior. Maybe the kids don't come from the best home and need a little guidance.
    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 3:43 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • I agree that they likely need guidance....i hate to say it but since it sounds like they don't get any guidance already, the parents would likely either high-five them or beat them.....i think you did exactly as you did by asking them to leave and not come back....a little tough love never hurt anyone....if it continues, maybe some tougher love....my dad did this with a neighbourhood boy....he told the boy that he would not inform his parents of the theft, but that he had to face consequences....and he made him pile wood, cut the lawn, etc....all while being supervised....at that boy's wedding (he's my age) he thanked Dad for it !
    FXmomTo3

    Answer by FXmomTo3 at 4:07 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • i should further explain that with that boy, dad knew the boy's parents....his parents left the boy to his own accord and dad knew informing them would not be well received....but by telling the boy that he wouldn't inform his parents, assured dad that he would face those consequences !
    FXmomTo3

    Answer by FXmomTo3 at 4:09 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • FX, I wouldn't ever make another persons kid do chores. Nowadays you'd end up getting sued. Or worse.
    I would talk to the parents. Just because the kid is doing bad things doesn't mean the parents are bad. It just means their not informed. Don't make assumptions without seeing whats up with the parents first. Perhaps they'll be thankful that you let them know. Who knows, perhaps the kids are perfect angels at home. Most kids personalities change once out of mom and dads eyesight.
    SalemWitchChild

    Answer by SalemWitchChild at 4:14 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • well my dad was a policeman...an andy-griffith style policeman, obviously lol....and like i said in our case, dad knew the parents....and i never said they were bad...they were however alcoholics who gave no guidance to that particular child....they were not bad people, just not good parents.... i agree every situation is different, but it's not something i would put up with for long ! and i think the best first step was already taken, let's hope nothing futher has to happen....
    FXmomTo3

    Answer by FXmomTo3 at 4:29 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • I would speak to the children and ask them not to come back to your yard. Most likely they won't. If the little girl has this type of behavior, you shouldnt expect much from the parent.
    Farrah930

    Answer by Farrah930 at 5:24 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • I would talk to the kids and tell them what is expected at your house, and I would also talk to the parents and let them know what is going on. They may be unaware of what is going on.
    QueenMomma2023

    Answer by QueenMomma2023 at 10:39 AM on Sep. 19, 2010

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