Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

O K, he graduated high school

My 17 yo graduated this past June all he wants to do now is hang out with his friends all day and night. He's not looking for a job or appling to other schools. I am soooo frustrated with this kid. He wonders why I get an attitude when he ask me for money.

Answer Question

Asked by n2thaxcape at 5:57 PM on Sep. 18, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 4 (50 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • i wouldnt be giving him money. i stopped asking my mom for money long before that. i moved out at 17, before i graduated, into my own house. not everyone is capable of this, but at 17 i think you should be somewhat self sufficient.

    Answer by jennifer588 at 6:02 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • Well, it depends on your state, but here in PA, once someone has graduated HS, they are considered an emancipated minor and can move out of their parents home. I would simply explain to him that you're not running a free hotel and if he expects to continue to stay with you he can find a job, go to school or he can move out on his own and make his own way. My children will without doubt be working long before the graduate, because I find a job to be a MUST for teens. They will also know that if they don't go to school they have 90 days to find their own place to live once they graduate of turn 18 (which is quite a few years off). I don't believe in this idea of adult children milking mom and dad for all they can get. My DH and I were both on our own by 18 and it served to be a wonderful learning experience neither of us would change. It may seem harsh, but we believe in the long run it's what's best.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 6:02 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • Tell him no more money, he has to get a job and pay rent or get out.

    Answer by lovinangels at 6:02 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • So MAKE him get a job, do chores and contribute to the household *or* go to college *or* move out.

    Three options are ALL I see in this picture.

    I wouldn't let your kid(s) run over you.

    Answer by Memigen at 6:03 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • If that's the way he wants to spend his time I would le himt, but I wouldn't give him ANY money. Try charging rent, just like $50 a month so he has to be responsible for something.

    Answer by skittles1108 at 6:04 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • No more money. And he's got to be responsible. While he's applying for schools and jobs - he's got to keep his room spotless, his own clothes clean, his bathroom spotless. He's also got to help keep the "common" areas of the house clean, should plan and cook several meals a week, should do dishes, etc. And remember, your house - your rules; if you want his friends out of the house, tell them to leave and if he doesn't like it, help him back and DON'T give him any money!!

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 6:29 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • That should say help him "PACK" not back.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 7:36 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • well, he should get a FT job & pay you rent! If not, show him the door, Mama! (don't really kick him out, just scare him a bit, lol)

    Answer by NicolesMommy at 12:24 AM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • It's time to give him some ultimatums. Honestly, though, you probably should have given him a little more direction while he was in high school. He should have had a job long before now and he should have had plans for once high school was done with...a job, college, trade school, the military, something that would give him purpose. If he asks for money don't give it to him because he's old enough to earn his own.

    Answer by tracylynnr67 at 3:39 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • We allow our children to be dependent for waaaay too long. He has to learn responsibility and the only way he can do that is to figure out how to get his own money. If you stop taking care of his wants and only supply BASIC needs (we are going to do that as mothers) he will soon realize that life is not really fun without having income. His time has run out!!

    Answer by dcnative at 10:19 AM on Sep. 22, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.