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3 Bumps

Do you think there could be a good reason to abandon you child?

Would you forgive if it happened to you? I'm asking because my mother walked out on my father, my sister and me, I was 4, without notice....ya know no goodbye letter or anything, just gone. So tell me your take.

Answer Question
 
mom-de-uno

Asked by mom-de-uno at 7:41 PM on Sep. 18, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 14 (1,812 Credits)
Answers (29)
  • It did happen to me and i did forgive my mother. Once I became a mother myself, I completely understood. i would not do the same thing to my child, but I can understand and have lived in my own skin what she went through only difference is that i had a lot more resources than she did...
    Luisa621

    Answer by Luisa621 at 7:44 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • There is honestly no way of knowing what could have happened or been going on in her mind or the marriage. I am sure its very painful. I wish you had answers to know what happened and why.
    BlacksheepSati

    Answer by BlacksheepSati at 7:45 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • I could never do it, but some people think there is no other way of dealing with their problems I guess. I'm not making excuses for anyone like that tho. Seems like too many loose ends left. I feel bad for any child who feels abandoned. I hope your mother was able to let you know how much she loves you and wants you.
    Lifes-A-Dance

    Answer by Lifes-A-Dance at 7:45 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • I don't think there is a good reason....It's hard to say, though. If I had a baby and couldn't provide for her/him properly then I suppose I would give it up-that would be best for everyone involved. Now what your mom did, not the right thing, but you do have to forgive. My mom basically ditched us after her and my dad got divorced. She wanted a new life and to start over. I was eight. Turns out she never did get that new life and is trying to creep back into mine. I can't be mad forever so I'm letting her. I don't trust her and I still keep her at arms length but like I said I can't be mad forever.
    theutilitarian

    Answer by theutilitarian at 7:46 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • if there was a drug problem, an uncontrollable, or un diagnosed, mental issue, an uncontrollable temper.

    My dad was an alcoholic and had a bad violent streak, I am glad I didn't have to deal with that.
    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 7:47 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • My parents left my brother myself and two sisters in the state of Colorado and never came back we ended up getting adopted but I would never do it to my children. I forgave but I do not think this means if they came back I would want them in my life. My parents your mom maybe something was wrong and maybe not only they know. ((((HUGS)))))
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 7:52 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • It happend to me too and i forgave my mother...i didnt for a long time because my dad was only telling me his side of things but when i finally came around to hear my mom out when i was older she was very ashamed of what she did ...leaving and all..but i didnt know my dad was keeping us from her. My mom did walk out but it was because my dad was abusive..she had every reason to leave really. My mom cheated on my dad and then my dad conned my mom in to signing over custody...he basically tricked her and made us think she walked out. There are two sides to every story and adults have there shit...its between them. They shouldnt expect kids to take sides..
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 7:57 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • I think situations could exist where a child would totally be better off without the mother in the picture. By best friend is raising her niece because the child's mom said the girl was better off without her in the her life. She was right. She is better off. Her mom left when she was 4. She had some behavioral issues until about 11 but now at 13 she is a very well adjusted girl who doesn't gravitate to the wrong crowd like her parents did, works hard at school work, and has plans for the future. She would have never been this way if mom stayed around.
    karamille

    Answer by karamille at 8:05 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • one of my friends gave her kids up for adoption to the state. they were 5,3 and 1. in her case i think it was a good call. she just could not do it, her husband left them, she was on drugs, and was pregnant but the father of that baby had just died. i think those kids will have a much better life with their new family, they are all together.
    jennifer588

    Answer by jennifer588 at 8:08 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • I'm glad to hear other peoples perspective but I feel like what she did is inexcusable, and now that I am a mother I know for sure I would never do that to my son no matter what was going on. She can't say anything to me to make me think different, and she's known where I've been all these years and has yet to reach out to me, or her grandson. What's worse is that her leaving introduced my father to my stepmother which made my life a living nightmare...I still have nightmares of her now and I'm 31. Anyways at least I have a loving son and SO!
    mom-de-uno

    Comment by mom-de-uno (original poster) at 8:15 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

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