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Daughter

my daughter started complaining of stomach pain at practice and at her game today so they sent her home saying there is a bug going around. i know for a fact it was hot and they had to do a parade then also cheer. they were complaining before the game. but then my daughter shocked me said i want to quit cheer i only did it cause i thought it would make you happy. i was like what you always talked about cheer so i said you could join. I love you no matter what and sports and cheer does not change how i feel about youcome to find out she is being harrassed by anthor cheerleader. so hubby let dd talk to her coach. they told her to go home relax and come in for practice Wednesday. She is still telling me she wants to quit. i feel her dad is Not listening to her or her feelings. I know we don't raise them to quit but at the same time f it is not something she enjoys her stomach hurts before she starts shouldn't she be able to quit?

 
sherryb1273

Asked by sherryb1273 at 7:53 PM on Sep. 18, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 17 (3,696 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Go talk to the coach with her, maybe you can get a better idea listening or voice a question she is afraid to ask. Let her know you don't want her to quit because of someone else but if she feels like giving it up for herself that you support her.
    DonnaPinitonya

    Answer by DonnaPinitonya at 5:55 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • Before I would allow her to quit..the harrassment has to be dealt with. In our district the code of conducts for athletics(includes Cheer) is very strict. Harrassment can get you suspended or totally kicked off a team here. If you allow her to quit due to harrassment the other cheerleader becomes a very powerful enemy. If she gets away with it once..it will be worse next time.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 7:58 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • I would say at least a break for now
    bingbong

    Answer by bingbong at 8:01 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • Seasons? Wow our cheer in HS is very different here. JV cheer is at all JV football and basketball games all year plus wrestling matches.. Varsity cheer the same. Once you're a cheerleader it is for the year.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 9:28 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • It sounds like she is really unhappy. But harassment from another cheerleader should not be tolerated. I think you should have went with her to talk to the coach instead of dad. She may not have wanted to talk in front of him. Since you told her that you will love her no matter what she decides, that alone should say enough. You can try sending her to practice on Wed. but if everything is still the same and nothing is being done about the harassment, so be it. It shouldn't get to the point where her self-esteem goes. I hope things work out for you.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 1:36 AM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • If you don't get any help from the coach I would go above her head. There must be someone in charge of the league. My daughter had a girl on her soccer team that would harass all the younger girls. My daughter was unhappy and I know she wanted to quit. I made her stick it out. She did miss several practices, bt not any games. It was the same thing, she was always "not feeling well" on practice days. I wish I would have spoken to the coach, but I didn't want to be "that parent".
    jcm62497

    Answer by jcm62497 at 10:50 AM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • luckily, that kind of thing has seasons.... i would say make her stick to it for the rest of the season, telling her that after the season is over, she doesn't have to do it next year, but that since she was so excited about it in the beginning, she needs to keep her commitment and make it through the next few months. my parents never made me finish anything either....
    gracefulsky

    Answer by gracefulsky at 8:33 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • this is for a football league it is seasonal, our basketball is different
    sherryb1273

    Comment by sherryb1273 (original poster) at 9:43 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • She went with her dad because she wanted him to go up there. she feels better now and told me she is going to stay until the end of the season but next year she wants to do no sports or cheer just focus on school. we told her that is fine as long as she is happy that is what we want for her. She said her dad actually listening to her and talking with her made her feel better because she was unsure how he would react. but he did very well with it, and he was able to get to the bottom of everything where i could not.
    sherryb1273

    Comment by sherryb1273 (original poster) at 8:05 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • I would make her finish what she started and then allow her to walk away. I dropped out of everything I ever started. I wish my parents had pushed me to finish SOMETHING. IF you feel she legitimately hates it then you are the parent it's your call.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 7:57 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

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