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13 Bumps

why does this bother me? I feel like he's cheating, but he says just flirting. adult content

My husband has his own auto repair business. I recently learned that young woman who is 20 years younger than him has been hanging around his shop flirting with him. It became apparent that he's been flirting back. I am really disturbed by this because she is there a lot. He admits that he is flirting, but says that he is a salesman and does it all the time. However, in this case I feel that he is encouraging her. She comes by in the evenings when he is working late and hangs out with him. He introduced me to her and, of course, she looked away and just said a quick "hi." I am really bugged that he is encouraging her and is doing nothing to stop the flirting. I know he loves me, but he admitted he is flattered by her & does not intend to stop because he is a "salesman" and she is now a "friend." Even if he doesn't have sex with her, I still feel betrayed.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:18 PM on Sep. 18, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (28)
  • i would too(feel betrayed). it's not nice when you husband fancy's someone else even when it's flirting. to me this much flirting would cross the line of cheating. i agree it does sound like he is encouraging her and i would be extremely upset that he just acts like it's no big deal that he does this. to be it would be like he doesn't value me as his wife and my feelings. if he knows this upsets you he should love you enough to stop and set it straight with this girl. so he would loose a customer. is that better then risking what you guys have.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 9:22 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • um... no matter what the hell your job is, there is no excuse for making friends with a new chick that you know is flirting with you. if he is using his PROFESSION as an excuse to not blow her off, then the relationship should remain PROFESSIONAL - e.g. there is no fucking making friends!!!
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 9:24 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • Hmm, that's not cool. Sorry he's doing that.
    twinmama2five

    Answer by twinmama2five at 9:25 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • You have every right to be mad! He has no reason to be hanging out with her or flirting! If he isnt selling her anything then what does him being a salesman have anything to do with anything? If he doesnt have any intentions of being with her then he needs to end anything before it starts! I would be completely upset!!!
    mrsmamaj

    Answer by mrsmamaj at 9:25 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • You feel betrayed because he is betraying you. He is disrespecting you and your marriage. I would demand that he stop if I were you. He's playing with fire and this can only lead to more pain for all involved.
    Anna92464

    Answer by Anna92464 at 9:25 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • sorry... i just had to say more because this crap pisses me off. (i don't know why i'm taking it so personally, but perhaps the following...). does he think losing one customer is more of a sacrifice than his marriage?? lay down the law... many years ago when i was 18 i was dating a guy who was 27. he had a "friend" who was "like a little sister" who was 14. she tried to have as little to do with me as possible (like the above girl does to you). he always made excuses for spending time with her (he felt bad for her and her brother because of her mom, etc., etc. in the end i found out for certain he was cheating with her on a regular basis. i don't know exactly when it started... but if your husband is expecting you to accept flirting that is not good. sales do increase when stroking someone's ego BUT there is a line crossed with flirting. are you expected to just let him trash your marriage for money?
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 9:28 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • oh hell no one thing is to do your JOB and another thing is to be OVERLY NICE AND FLIRTY...i am so outspoken and i say thing how it is...you should get your hot mama things out and walk all up into that shop and let him have it its you always you or bye bye...no dude needs to look to the side for nothing...respect yourself so much that nobody would dare to disrespect you...show no fear and be a strong woman...

    iNk-FrEaK

    Answer by iNk-FrEaK at 9:29 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • That would totally bother me, and I typically don't get bothered by stuff. Bottom line is, if he's really committed to you, then he would stop just because it bothers you, if for no other reason!
    Mom_2_cuties

    Answer by Mom_2_cuties at 9:39 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • I'm sorry, but no customer is worth a marriage! Lay it on the line, but fray from ultimatums - they send the wrong message, and you usually get a negative response. Keep your chin up and good luck!!! (I've been there, I chose to walk - he begged me to give him another chance - he screwed that one up too!)
    ladycertz

    Answer by ladycertz at 9:43 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • My boyfriend is a musician and I told him when I met him that he is a very flirtashous person. He says that he is not. But let something showing half their a** walk by and I am ready to knock his eyes out. Seriously I have come to deal with it. I feel as long as he does not act on his impulses, it doesn't bother me.
    msbrewton

    Answer by msbrewton at 9:48 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

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