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To spank or not to spank?

We don't spank our daughter, nor will we spank our son. If they do something that puts them in danger, we'll deal with this question at the time, but for now there is no point in doing so (in our opinion). Thoughts?


Asked by HeatheranninSP at 11:09 PM on Sep. 18, 2010 in General Parenting

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Answers (12)
  • I think its a choice every parent makes, and I don't think either way is right or wrong. Some forms of discipline work for some kids, and some don't. I am not against spanking, but I won't use it unless I feel it is completely necessary. Now my friend spanks her 1 year old for not listening. I do not agree with that at all. A child that young does not understand the word no, let alone why he is being spanked! But when my son is 5 and is going to run in the street after I have already told him no 3 times, then maybe a spanking will be necessary. JMO

    Answer by Ash9724 at 11:16 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • everyone has their own choices on how to raise and discipline their kids.. if you dont wanna spank.. then dont.. it's your decision!! :D

    Answer by proudmommy690 at 11:10 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • i dont usually spank. oncein a while there will be something that deserves a harder consequence and if i feel it is the right thing to do then i will. but you have to be calm about it, it cant just be a "in the heat of the moment" type of thing. thats when abuse happens i think.

    Answer by cassie_m at 11:14 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • I spank, and I'm proud of that fact. I do not beat my children, but I spank. I believe it's a good form of discipline when used in conjunction with other forms and consistency. I believe the high amount of parents refusing to spank is a great contribution to the amount of out of control and respect-less children and teens in this country...

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 11:18 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • We spank when it's appropriate, but we use more realistic consequences to teach our kids WHY it was wrong. For example, you don't spank a child for hitting his sister, today when my 5 yr old son tried to hit his 4 yr old sister , I made him do all her chores for the day while she got to watch Word World. I told him if he's going to try and be that mean to her, he's gonna do something nice for her. However, when my daughter was 2 and a half, and bit my son at 3 and a half, two warnings not to bite in one hour weren't working, so when she bit him a third time on the shoulder and broke the skin, my husband bit her. Everyone at the family get together objected to this- my husband did not break the skin but left a little imprint, and I'll tell you that girl has NEVER bit anyone or anything since and she's 4 and a half! Practical punishments, explanations why, and realistic expectations have worked GREAT for us.

    Answer by KariLyn84 at 11:26 PM on Sep. 18, 2010


    Answer by iNk-FrEaK at 11:11 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • I do spank, but it is a single smack to the bottom, never more, and only after repeated warnings. We do the 1-2-3 and my kids know at 3, they are going to get spanked, so it is very rare that I ever make it to 3.

    But, that it my method and it works for us.


    Answer by Maureen-MD at 11:15 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • every parent or set of parents has to evolve the disciiple to suit the child. some children would be harmed by spanking. some would be harmed by NOT spanking. children are not peas in pods. and while some kids respond to the LOOK, counting down, warning, time out, grounding, losing priveledges. OTHERS do not. and a swat to the hiney , never in anger, to reinforce a directive will get thier attention more surely than all the punishments otherwise in the world. My 7 year old would LAUGH his hiney off if you gave him time out. you can strip his room bare. give his toys to salvation army. doesnt matter. but swat his hiney firmly and make sure he knows WHY and you have his undivided attention.

    Answer by BlacksheepSati at 11:20 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • We don't spank. It a violent act. I want my child to trust me and come to me whens she needs me. I think spanking harms that relationship.

    Answer by ecodani at 12:50 AM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • I spank for deliberate disobedience. (Very Rareley) After reading Dr Dobson's "Dare to Discipline" I've found it is a useful punishment. Its never done out of anger and my son knows the consequences prior to the disobedience. I've only had to spank maybe 3x's and my son is 11. To each there own, but for me I see nothing wrong with it.


    Answer by CKasting at 1:40 AM on Sep. 19, 2010