Have you ever told your child - Thanks just for being there?

She is generous in sharing her pleasures. If she has a wonderful day, she will tell me of it in an e-mail, describe what she saw, what she ate, and the slant of light as it strikes the apartment building across from hers. I savor the food she eats, I watch the movie she has seen through her eyes, and together we share the setting sun 6,000 miles from where I sit dreaming her life.

The culture we live in marinates us in guilt toward our parents, with lots of sentiment about the sacrifices made by mothers and fathers in bringing up kids who are often portrayed as ingrates and ne'er-do-wells. And some of them surely are. But for lucky parents like me, the return on the investment of time, love and money is enormous, and the emotional and intellectual interest I've earned is incalculable.

My wife and I gave her life, but she gave us a broader world. She gave us France, of course, in ways we could never have known that wonderful country had she not moved there. I have traveled with her both vicariously and in actuality, seeing places I might never have seen but for her questing spirit.

But for any grown "children" who may be toting the burden of guilt about all your parents gave you in order to bring you up, you might consider how much richer their worlds are because you are in them.

Tomorrow I will take my morning walk again, listening to a French song I cannot understand, though my heart will know it well. It was a gift from my daughter.