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I really want to know just why women get involved with married men, why do you feel that you have to break up a family just for your happiness?

I don't understand how a woman can live with herself by getting involved with a married man and he leaves his family to be with her, knowing she broke up a family just for her happiness. I just don't get it. And how does she not live constantly with the fear that he'll do it to her? Leave her for someone else?

Can anyone explain? And I don't want to hear the, "He wasn't happy" Fine, if he's not happy but won't go to counciling or has an affair instead of talking to his wife that's not a real reason that's an excuse and a justification. So how do you know that when he isn't "happy" with you anymore he won't go off and find someone else then? How will you feel then? I don't think you'd have much of a right to get angry since you did the same thing to another woman.

So any explainations?


Asked by Anonymous at 9:49 PM on Oct. 18, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (20)
  • I can give all the excuses. He obviously wasn't happy or he wouldn't have cheated. I was young and dumb. I was insecure and needed reassurance. Whatever excuses people use. Well, they're all bullshit. I knew what I was doing and you know why I did it? Because I have always had a weakness for sexy cowboys and he was one. I didn't care that he was married. I didn't care that he had kids. I knew he would be fun to play with and he was.

    Do I regret it? Yes I do. I am very glad his wife never found out and she was spared that pain. Would I do it again? No. A woman who sleeps with a married man (if she knows he's married) is doing it for selfish reasons and there is no excuse for it. Not now, then, or ever. If she doesn't know he's married then the blame can't be laid at her feet unless she stays in the relationship after she finds out. P.S. You'll notice I didn't post "Anonymous". Call me crazy.


    Answer by AuntieM at 3:11 AM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • Yes, I'd like to know too...
    All I know is that if a woman does this then she obviously feels that low and insecure about herself. Which is very, very sad! And if he cheats with you he will cheat on you! Hello? Karma's a Bitch!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:54 PM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • No explanations here, but it sounds like you have been burned by this. Hope you get the help you need to deal with the pain.

    Answer by rhope4 at 9:55 PM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • well, how do you know he tells her he is even married? I haven't been in the workforce for moons, but when I was, it was sad. Married people being way to flirty, when new people starting, people making themselves "available" when they really werent. even just for lunch, wrong in my eyes. Im not even talking about the stuff that happened after hours outside of work when we went for drinks. So I totally think guys, and women lie, or keep there family a secret, when they want too

    Answer by Kerinmomof2 at 9:58 PM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • Well, my crazy mother in law has broken up a couple of happy homes to have a brief fling with a married man... She justifies it by saying "it happened to me, so I should have the right to do it!" She's a nut.

    There really is no good explanation. Any woman who gets involved with a man, KNOWING that he is married, is definitely in the wrong. I understand that you can't help who you fall in love with, but a married person should never allow themselves to get in a position TO fall in love with someone.

    Answer by heather.huckaby at 9:59 PM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • the man wouldnt leave his wife if he was happy and was in love with her still.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:05 PM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • I'm posting this reply anon,for obvious reason! Just wanted to tell you of my experience with this. Many years ago I met a man who didn't tell me he was married, we started dating, then I found out he was married.I broke up with him,but he told me all kinds of things, and I went back with him. He left his wife and 2 children for me, we got married. My dad was very upset with me over this,he told me Once a cheater always a cheater and If he did it to her he'll do it to you. I was young and blew off his wise advice. After a few years,the problems began.He did do the same thing to me. He never left me, he just had affairs. I finally left him. I talked to his x wife after this and told her how sorry I was. We became kind of friendly, and I jokingly told her she could have him back now, she laughed and said she didn't want him and was glad I finally got rid of him. I still feel awful for doing that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:10 PM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • A woman who is seeing a married man is not the one with the issue as she is not the one married. What I don't understand is how the woman who is dating this married man (and maybe she doesn't even know he is married) is to blame when the man is the one who made a commitment to marriage? Shouldn't it be the cheating husband who is breaking up a marriage/family? If you cheat on your SO/wife/husband/bf/gf then you are the one to be blamed not the person whom they are cheating with. The only circumstance that the other person could or should be considered a home wrecker is if it were a friend or family member. In my honest opinion if you are a wife that is being cheated on then you should blame your cheating husband and leave his sorry ass.


    Answer by candygirl1030 at 10:11 PM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • I know there are scandalous women out there, but men lie too. For all anyone knows they could be telling the other woman they're divorced, not ever mentioning being married, telling them all sorts of stories about how horribly mistreated they are, how in love they are with the other women. I had a friend damn near get married to a man never knowing he had 3 kids and a wife in another state! They were together for over a year...and she was devastated. If he can hide three kids and a wife, who is to say what other men hide.

    Answer by kabbot01 at 10:15 PM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • i was lied to by a married man. he could be to & there are some truths here. i think if a man that is mentally stable & happy with his marriage would not do this. so obviously this man of yours has some serious issues that he's never dealt with that has nothing to do with you. she is not completely @ blame here. it takes two to tangle & he was or wasn't beguiled by her. he shouldn't have done it but he must have some issues here that possessed him to do so. why? who knows why. he may not even know. maybe this is learned behavior from his parents or abuse. what not! maybe he truly wasn't happy w/ you. that's the man he is & it sucks that he did it to you. why do women like casey anthony kill her baby.sometimes there are no answers. you just have to find a way to deal & heal from this. good luck:)

    Answer by melody77 at 11:00 PM on Oct. 18, 2008