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How do you handle neighbors (adults) that act as children?

We have had some on going issues with 2 neighbors that are friends with each other. A few years ago my son was very mean to the neighbor's son. we handled it the best we could and my son matured. He is not that same kid anymore. My 2 neighbors refused to let the kids handle it and took it upon themselves to blacklist my son by bad mouthing him around the neighborhood and the town. She would make mean and hurtful comments about my son in front of him and even intentionally "bumped" into him at his school. I can't sit back much longer and watch my kids be bullied by immature adults, but I don't want to stoop to their level and "play their games". Please help!

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:30 PM on Oct. 18, 2008 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (8)
  • MOVE -

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:31 PM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • Your main job in parenting is to make sure your child knows you are there for him. Mean comments in front of him = you say something straight back to her ( excuse me, that is uncalled for - or excuse me, that was just childish - and "You may not talk to my son like that, how dare you?!") And then afterwards, do discuss it with him, according to his age. Your description that these people are acting immature like children is a good place to start. Keep your emotions in hand - be indignant and powerful about your commitment to stand by him, but not victimized/hurt or lashing out angry. Bumping and any physical intimidation calls for instant involvement of authorities, just like verbal bullying calls for your instant standing up to her. Yes, indeed, DON'T sit back and watch. When people are crossing the line, invading boundaries, call them on it.

    Answer by waldorfmom at 10:41 PM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • i don't know what to tell you, have you tried to talk to them about it?

    Answer by myboogiewoogie at 10:41 PM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • I would have a talk with each one individually and say pretty much what you said without calling them bullies. Ask them if what you are hearing is true if you havent' seen it yourself. Give them the freedom to say whatever they need to say to you so they get it off their chest. End with a promise to hear about any specifics involving their children and ask them to help you by talking only to you about it. If they don't abide, you have to teach your son how to handle it. If they are actually bullying him, notify the school and check in with the local authorities if it continues for advice.

    Answer by manna1qd at 9:02 AM on Oct. 19, 2008

  • I don't have a solution, just a comment.... They sound like the "mean mommies" from The New Adventures of Old Christine! Bitches!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:06 PM on Oct. 19, 2008

  • If you've already tried talking 2 their parents & haven't gotten ne where, I would consider a parent meeting @ the school w/ them & the principal bc it's their job 2 put a stop 2 their behavior (if posible). If u absolutely have 2 take legal action, trust ur instincts & do so. Bc bullying is nothing 2 b taken lightly. As 4 the nieghborhood aspect of ur?, I would reassure ur son that he's nothing they r saying he is. I would also reinforce 2 him that if ne of these kids were his friends b4 this incident started & have since turned on him, then they were never really his friends 2 begin w/ bc real friends don't treat real friends that way.

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 3:13 PM on Oct. 19, 2008

  • Im going threw the same thing talk to them and let them know what you think who cares if they get mad it your child

    Answer by tryingmom203 at 6:41 PM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • Have you confronted them in a civilized manner? Have you called the police on them? I would just not let the kid be around them as much as possible. Don't stoop to their level. That would just make it worse. If they want to be like children then let them as long as they don't do any harm to you're son then that's all that matter's. I will have you on our prayer chain. Hopefully that will help.

    Answer by snickers1201 at 6:24 PM on Nov. 2, 2008

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