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How do you get kids to be active or have a goal?

I don't get it. Their best goal is playing video games/computer to get the best score. I thought they'd grown out of it but its been over7 years now. No motivation or desire to do anything else. Yes, I've taken away the games/computer. They just go to their friends then. I'd rather have them home. It started in Junior High and now in his second year of High School it hasn't changed. He has no imagination, no goals, no plans for a future? Is there anyone who had this problem and found some creative ways to get them moving?


Asked by Prayerpartner at 5:58 AM on Sep. 19, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 20 (10,072 Credits)
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Answers (8)
  • I have a 19 and a 17 year old son. There was a time when it seemed like they had no ambition at all. Video games and computer was all they cared about. Grades weren't the best but they passed. I set boundaries for them. They tested the limits but I held firm. It was tough. I had no idea but they actually had ambitions they failed to tell me about. My eldest had made a website and taught himself computer programming. He is now taking classes and works for a company and works on websites. My younger one asked me to the military at 16. I was 100% against it! But I realized that it was what he wanted to do. He just finished basic training this summer. It was amazing the changes he has made. I suggest you take an interest in the games they are playing and get on their level. You may discover something about them they aren't sharing. When you do discover an interest try to find out as much as you can about it and encourage them. GL!

    Answer by bjane01 at 10:17 AM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • Unfortunetly, video games are huge. Kids wait in line for the newest game from the night before. I don't think there is a parent with this problem. Because you are not able to be active, my suggestion would be to make your son sit with you and do his homework. No tv. That is a good way to talk about his favorite subjects. From there, use your computer to look up careers and begin talking with him about the money he can make and what type of follow on education he may need. Also, family night is a great way to become close. I use to say 1 week in advance, "Family night this night, no friends or plans". It worked. Games, Scene It is one of the best. You could go to the mall or a movie or rent a movie or get a play, hand out parts and act them out. What you are looking for is communication. Good luck!

    Answer by momx3gx1b at 7:49 AM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • I'm in no way pointing fingers when i ask this....but do your kids see you being active regularly ? I wasn't active for a lot of years and I started noticing my kids following the same path...but two years ago I started going to the gym which made my kids quite curious as to what i was doing there....but still didn't change their activity levels....but then money got tight and i had to give up the gym membership, so i started going for runs in the neighbourhood and weight lifting at home....and whenever we have free time we go hiking as a family, walk to the grocery store for milk instead of driving, etc...and i'm definitely seeing some changes in my kids.....lots of changes took two years to get here, but we're here, lol

    Answer by FXmomTo3 at 6:15 AM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • Set the rules NOW.

    When I was growing up we knew from the get go that we either went to college or moved out. There was NO way we would be allowed to live at mom and dads and not be in college.

    Make sure they know that if they choose to graduate h.s. and NOT go to college that they MUST move out. They will sink or swim at that point and you will have done the best you can. At some point they have to know that it is THEIR life.

    Do not feel guilty... just make sure they know they will have to leave. A good strong dose of reality might be just what they need.

    Answer by sahlady at 11:22 AM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • I took all games out and we play outside together and I they make a weeklygoal, on sunday they can play for 2hours

    Answer by sherryv07 at 11:36 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • The best way is encouragement. Encourage them to go and be active outside of the house. Be active with them if neccessary

    Answer by dham at 8:55 PM on Nov. 3, 2010

  • That is awesome. I've have cronic illness for many years. Being on oxygen makes it hard to do much. I mean, we do play games. But I need help getting them motivated about their future. Having goals and visions.. I mean, I remember thinking I'm going to travel, go to college, be a Teacher, etc... They have no ambitions for their future... I'm so happy for you. Not only for the changes in your children, but for doing something for yourself! I don't know you and yet, I've very proud of the choice you made for bettering your life!!! Congratulations!

    Comment by Prayerpartner (original poster) at 6:27 AM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • We started out setting goals when she was yunger so it just part of our lives. Start by making suggestions then limited the game time and introduce them new ideas and things they may interest them like becoming a game programmer or something dealing with video games. You gonna have to get active with

    Answer by mekarevell at 8:44 AM on Sep. 27, 2010