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How to deal?

I was 10 weeks pregnant and found out my baby died at 8 weeks. I just had my D & C on Oct.16. I don't know how to be. Everyone around me including my DH seem fine. While I am tring all day not to cry. With feel like no one else is greiving I feel weird wanting to talk about it. How do I tell my husband that I am not ok. that I need him when I cry instead of sitting by myself after everyone is gone or sleeping and crying for my lose. I don't want to be alone but I don't know how to talk.

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racemommy

Asked by racemommy at 10:32 PM on Oct. 18, 2008 in Trying to Conceive

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Just walk up to him and let him know. If he is a good husband I know that he will give you a shoulder to cry on. I'll pray for you.
    rivmom

    Answer by rivmom at 10:34 PM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • I am so sorry for your loss. I can't really give you any advice bc after my miscarriage people like my mom wanted me to talk about it and I refused. Just tell your husband how you feel bc he most likely feels something but men just don't show it. You can message me if you want to talk.
    fairyinabubble

    Answer by fairyinabubble at 10:37 PM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • Because to men it's not really real until the baby comes. It's very different for us women. We feel it and love the baby from the moment we find out we are pregnant. I'm so sorry for your loss. But you have to tell your hubby how you feel. He probably doesn't realize how upset you are.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 10:40 PM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • definately go to him and let him know. he may just not know how to bring it up without hurting you.
    myboogiewoogie

    Answer by myboogiewoogie at 10:40 PM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • I'M SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS,HOW DID YOU MISCARRY?A DOCTOR IN THE ER TOLD ME THAT I'M MISCARRYING BUT I'M CONFUSED BECAUSE I'M NOT BLEEDING OR ANYTHING.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:41 PM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • I went in for my first doc apt. and they couldn't get a heart beat. Was sent for ulrasound and there was no heart tone. After 2 blood test and 3 days of waiting I got a phone call that my levels were dropping and my baby had died. I couldn't believe it b/c I had no signs. But I had to I seen it on the screen there was no heartbeat.
    racemommy

    Answer by racemommy at 10:47 PM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • First of all Im so sorry for your loss. I cant even imagine what you must be going through right now. As far as your husband goes, just talk to him...you never know he might be feeling the same way but maybe hes trying to be strong for you and doesnt want to upset you...it cant hurt to talk about what your feeling
    Nora1

    Answer by Nora1 at 11:15 PM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • I am very sorry. I lost a baby in June of this year and have had a lot of testing and more issues to deal with too. Grieving is something that everyone deals with differently. There was a day when my hubby wouldn't listen to me and I felt that I was falling apart and I really needed him to hold me and just listen to me. So I ended up txting him becuase I Knew he would hear me. Try an unconventional way of reaching out to him. If that doesn't work, back him into a corner and let him have it. It's hard for them because it doesn't seem real to our DH's until they can see the baby or feel them kicking.
    Maddape48854

    Answer by Maddape48854 at 11:48 PM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • I'm sorry. I know you've probably heard that a million times and no matter how many people say it and altough you know we all mean well, I too know that it doesn't seem to ease the pain. It's been a lil over a year since I lost my first at 18 weeks, my second at 10 weeks my third at 12 weeks. My DH was afaird he'd upset me so he just didn't talk about it. he held it all in, he broke down when i was starting to get my heart back in order. All that time I thought he didn't care. But he did and so does your hubby. dh said he was mad for a long time bc i got to feel Lilly move before he did.tell him you need him right now.tell him your mad and hurt too.help him understand that this was no more his fault then yours.neither one of you are to blame and i hope your not like me and blame your self.nothing you or your husband did caused this.i will keep you in my prays..write if you want like to talk.
    longing2beamoth

    Answer by longing2beamoth at 1:52 AM on Oct. 19, 2008

  • I lost my baby last October and my husband was standing post for 4 days and wasn't allowed to come home when I told him. I worked all day since there was no one to come home to. When he came home 4 days later he acted like nothing was wrong and it made me mad. I told him what all I went through in details. Well bad mistake because he didn't want to try for another baby for over 6 months because he was worried that it would happen again. We just started trying again in August. So, my advise be gentle on how you explain it. I heard that some people get pregnant quickly after a miscarriage. Of course we didn't because he said no sex just in case.
    Sims8386

    Answer by Sims8386 at 11:02 AM on Oct. 19, 2008

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