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If you aren't married would you feel more secure in your relationship if you were?

If you are in a long term relationship, why are you not married, especially if you have children?


Asked by Anonymous at 6:56 PM on Jul. 1, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • i do feel more secure married. let me tell you why. i have two kids with this man and have not worked since 1999. if he leaves me today, i'm gonna get the house, the car, and he's gonna have to help me get on my feet. ill be able to take care of my children. without that peice of paper, women like me who give up their financial security to stay at home and give their children emotional security are screwed if he leaves. if we were not married, in my state, i'd get 500 a month for the child support of two kids, nevermind that he asked me to not work anymore adn blah blah blah. and if he were to die, i have some insurance from him and ss. single, i'd get neither. it may sound mercanary but when your childrens well being are at stake, it is something to be thought about. also its easy to walk out, hard to divorce, and some relationships just need a little time apart.

    Answer by princezzmommie at 1:04 AM on Jul. 2, 2008

  • Security isn't a piece of paper. It's true love, true trust & true dedication! I think there should be a law that everybody must live together for at least a year before marriage to see if they're compatible. Then, if they decide to marry, make it harder to divorce! Like 10 years to divorce! That would stop alot of the divorces, wouldn't it?

    Answer by jon6pat at 7:28 PM on Jul. 1, 2008

  • a marriage certificate doesn't mean anything other than someone is entitled to your property. My hubby and I aren't legally married. We had a wedding ceremony but never actually got a marriage certificate because it doesnt' financially benefit either of us.

    Answer by haberdasher at 7:49 PM on Jul. 1, 2008

  • No. I feel I have more control over who I am as a person without being married. I don't want to feel like I'm someone's possession or enter into some kind of obligatory domestic servitude. I want to be in the relationship bc I want to be here not bc I'm obligated to be here via some piece of paper. I want the freedom to walk away anytime I choose without hindering myself with some legal action. I think this keeps us from taking each other for granted. This works for me (long term personal commitment without marriage). I feel equal. I feel empowered. I feel appreciated for who I am not the role I play.

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:54 PM on Jul. 1, 2008

  • I feel very secure without being married...somewhat more secure. I can still get financial aid for school and many tax breaks many married people don't have access to. I love my children's father and he loves me and the babies...I couldn't imagine being with anyone else. Plus I truly feel that if someone is going to get up and leave a relationship they will do it married or not....I've seen it happen in both cases..

    Answer by lucysmomrocks at 8:32 PM on Jul. 1, 2008

  • Marriage is just a piece of paper and if you can't live without that piece of paper to be secure with your relationship then I think you better think twice. I've lived with my, now husband, for four years and I felt just as secure with him, without the marriage license. When you KNOW someone loves you, you just know and if you feel that marriage will keep them around longer, you're fooling yourself. They leave with or without the piece of paper that supposedly holds you together.

    Answer by christybearskn at 11:11 PM on Jul. 1, 2008

  • I feel secure not being married, the way he loves me is how I know I am safe with him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:06 AM on Jul. 2, 2008

  • I think that piece of paper tells the world you were worth doing things the right way. You can say you don't care, but that paper will not allow your husband to up and leave without consequences that those of you say you don't need will if and probably when he finds a new woman will to give it away for free. My mom always said, "Why buy the cow if you get the milk for free?" That paper is a higher level of commitment in my opinion. I think so many unmarrieds again lead to various drains on society when the man takes off. Marriage is not necessarily a guarantee, but I'd like my piece of paper to make sure my kids have what they need and I if the marriage dissolves at some point. I love my husband and want and plan to be with him forever, but my marriage certificate says he made the same vows to me and that we have a shared responsibility.

    Answer by Teachermom01 at 7:33 AM on Jul. 2, 2008