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My husband is cheating and I do not know how to deal with it...

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Asked by Swiss2010 at 8:46 AM on Sep. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • OK first of all how do you know he is? just covering the bases. next is healthy boundaries. he cannot maintain having his cake and eating it too. so put your foot down and say its over and you work on us, or get out . Do not allow yourself to be treated like a utility. By creating healthy boundaries and standing the line with him, you will feel better yourself. it will still HURT. but you will feel more self esteem and resepct. its not YOUR fault he made this choice. but you dont have to tolerate it

    Answer by BlacksheepSati at 8:52 AM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • either stay or leave..... decide what you want to do and then take it from there.

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 8:53 AM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • You leave him or you sen him to counseling an hope he can change. If it was me his stuff woul be out on the porch an th locks to the house would be changed. We are having a lightning storm right now too. Boy would it be a bad time for him.

    Answer by Alanaplus3 at 8:54 AM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • I knew there must have been going on something... Just did not have any proof but you can feel it. This morning I looked at his text messages on his phone... very explicit!!! I know I should leave him but not quite ready and there is a kid I have to think about...

    Comment by Swiss2010 (original poster) at 8:58 AM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • yes, your child deserves a happy stable home. and that is something you need to seriusly think about. explicit text messages are not actual PROOF he IS cheating. while yes its an indescretion and repugnant I think you ned to sit down and TALK TO HIM about this.

    Answer by BlacksheepSati at 9:01 AM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • I tried to talk but he completely shuts down. He just walked away...

    Comment by Swiss2010 (original poster) at 9:06 AM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • I think in the initial stages of finding out I would be angry. Then you need to think things through and decide if you can remedy the situation or move on. That's a tough decision if you've been in a relationship for some time. It's not only your child's feelings that are involved, yours are too. Your feelings count too in this since he is doing something hurtful to you.

    Answer by CafeMochaMom1 at 9:08 AM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • if he wont talk then he dosnet care and he wants you to leave im sorry thats mean but i have been there. and my x was like it took you long enough to go didn you he is an ass. you will be better off and so will the kids. dont worry to much he already picked it to be over.
    i dont see how you could fix it. once a cheater alwasy a cheater

    Answer by jacobmommy62106 at 11:03 AM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • Call the number that was on his phone. I bet she'll tell you what's up. See what he is telling her.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:26 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • Sorry to hear about it. Try to approach this an unemotionally as possible because he seems non confrontational if he keeps walking away. Just let him know that you need to talk now. In time you will know what's best for you.

    Answer by socialworker227 at 12:58 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

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