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My daughter's father is emotionally abusive towards women. (not toward my daughter)

He's actually gotten some help since he attacked me and I left, but he still displays some classic traits. Like the belittling, and the twisting of a situation to make it the other person's fault. (and the mean and nasty looks that clearly say, "you're stupid"

I don't allow this behavior from him if we are discussing our child, and I will call him on it and tell him to call me when he can have a healthy conversation.

Last night my daughter started with this kind of behavior. She had gone to a dance and come home wearing much less clothing than she had left with. I reminded her of the rules, which she said, "that's never been a rule," and tried to stare me down with that evil you're stupid look, filled with contempt.
It's a very strong, contemptuous look.
Her punishment is doubled for the manipulator and the lie.
I called her on it, told her it wasn't healthy, and she wasn't going to treat me that way.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:36 AM on Sep. 19, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (3)
  • I just don't know how to proceed. If I approach her father, he'll deny it's something he does. it's not enough to have the court step in, plus he's really healed a LOT, and she deserves to visit, but I don't want her to display these kinds of behaviors.

    This is a really forced, aggressive, nasty, purposefully stare you down belittling look, coupled with denial that she broke clear rules, which she admitted later that she knew she had done.

    How would you handle it?
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:40 AM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • I don't know what to say to help you...my children's father is exactly the same way...but i am lucky because i left him 5 years ago and its been 3 years since he's seen the kids....it's a horrible way to have to live and personally i think exactly the way you are handling it is great ! I wish i had been so calm....I hated who I became in response to him....thankfully i'm no longer that person...
    FXmomTo3

    Answer by FXmomTo3 at 1:08 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • let her know you are not gonna stand for it. set the rules and when she break them punish her
    mekarevell

    Answer by mekarevell at 1:04 AM on Sep. 26, 2010

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