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2 Bumps

I don't want to sound rude...

But... How do you politely tell someone that is trying to "help" you when your child is crying or fussy?

I had an instance recently when a family member took my child to comfort him and I insisted that she give him back. I think she noticed I was a bit upset.

I hate it when this happens. What can I do next time? I know they mean well, but seriously, I can handle my own child.

Answer Question
 
mercilove

Asked by mercilove at 12:16 PM on Sep. 19, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 10 (434 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • thank you for the offer, but i can handle this. or thank you but being with me will calm him down faster.
    happy-go-lucky

    Answer by happy-go-lucky at 12:19 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • Wow next time grab your child and take him outside or to another room. If you don't want anyone helping out!
    elisabellaguna

    Answer by elisabellaguna at 12:19 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • I totally agree with happy go lucky.
    elisabellaguna

    Answer by elisabellaguna at 12:20 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • I appreciate it when others offer to help me out lol but I get stressed easy seeing as I have anxiety :D
    agriffinmom4

    Answer by agriffinmom4 at 12:21 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • "aw! look at who's fussy/ tired/ hungry" (to the child)
    "thank you sooo much, you are so sweet, but i got this..." (to adult/ BIG smile and try to look genuine)
    mrsmostafa

    Answer by mrsmostafa at 12:22 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • I simply take my child from them while saying that being with me will calm her more quickly as she is very shy and I remove her to another room. In my book my child is more important then the feelings of a well meaning family member. Yes there are certain other people she is okay with (like DH, grandma, and a couple aunts), but if mom is in the room that is who she wants. I also don't like anyone telling me how to parent my child. We do not follow the mainstream in most things and a lot of our family and friends just don't understand that so what they think is helping is really just making the situation worse.
    aeneva

    Answer by aeneva at 12:27 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • Get firm with them.
    queen.bee

    Answer by queen.bee at 12:30 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • Next time this happens, get up and leave the room. Maybe people are trying to help since you are just sitting there and the child is continuing to cry. If you get up & walk around, the child will most likely calm down. You don't have to say anything, just get up and handle it yourself. I think it's nice if someone offers to help. I never had that problem since I did everything myself & no one offered any help which I would have greatly appreciated.

    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 1:19 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • sorry i so do that sometimes,,, but it's only because i just want to help,,,,
    but i would tell someone like me :: thanks for the help but i got it....
    I think as moms to moms we understand,,, and it really takes a village to raise a child these days....
    Cynt1020

    Answer by Cynt1020 at 1:39 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • I understand what you are saying and I may have been the same way with my children. These are great suggestions. I never had family or anyone to help so I don't know what it would have been like.


    Sometimes changing the situation can calm a child or a mother. Another person taking a child is not "help" as in you are not a good enough mother to take care of your child. Humans really are supposed to raise their children in a village. No one should have to do it alone. If you have a symbiotic relationship with your baby or young child they feed off your stress and become more stressed. Try not to think of owning your child, your child is also a part of the extended family. We knew this a generation or two ago.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 1:54 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

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