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Why is my 11 year old stepson continuely pooping in his underwear and wiping his butt on the bathroom rugs and towels?

I can't stand it. It seems to be a regular thing anymore. He says he doesnt want to stop playing. This can't be normal behavior. Why would a 11 year old choose to poop in his underwear rather then use the bathroom?
We do make him scrub out his underwear in the toilet and wash everything he poops on but that does nothing to make it stop.

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HeartofGold

Asked by HeartofGold at 7:10 PM on Jul. 1, 2008 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 1 (1 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I would take him to see a child therapist. It could be that there is something going on that you might not be aware of. My son used to pee on his laundry and under his dresser. We never found out why but it did stop shortly after he started therapy. I think just having someone who isn't friend or family to talk to about stuff helped.
    amethystrse

    Answer by amethystrse at 7:13 PM on Jul. 1, 2008

  • Thank you for the advice. He has been in daily therapy through his treatment program for over 2 years now. They ask us why he would do this without giving us any ideas.
    He even poops in a bucket and throws it out his bedroom window. my 2 year old steped in it once and the next time he had poop smeared all over things outside. We made him clean that up too.
    HeartofGold

    Answer by HeartofGold at 7:17 PM on Jul. 1, 2008

  • his dad said just now "maybe he is gassy" LOL.....yes, he is gassy everytime he throws his poop out the bedroom window. Every time he chooses to sit and play instead of getting up and using the bathroom. Uggggg.....he is so much more into giving excused then rather finding the problem and solution.
    HeartofGold

    Answer by HeartofGold at 7:19 PM on Jul. 1, 2008

  • This is your stepson? Do you all have primary physical custody or does his mother? Perhaps there's something else going on that you aren't aware of.
    Triessence

    Answer by Triessence at 7:40 PM on Jul. 1, 2008

  • Yes it is my stepson and yes we have primary physical custody. He only sees him mom once every 3 years or so and has been that way for as long as I have know him (when he was 3 I came into the picture).
    I don't know what is going on and his treatment center is no help.
    HeartofGold

    Answer by HeartofGold at 7:51 PM on Jul. 1, 2008

  • He,s at a good age for embarresment. If he's going to act like a baby treat him like one. They make lg pull ups, ask him often if he needs to go potty maybe once or so in front of friends or at least threaten to , maybe that might spark a nerve.
    bunco

    Answer by bunco at 4:31 AM on Jul. 2, 2008

  • I know from your posts about your stepson that your husband works alot. Maybe this behavior is about wanting something more from his dad than he is getting?
    And maybe he needs to be seeing someone else rather than just the normal ppl at the treatment center he goes to everyday. Maybe they're just as puzzled as you but don't want to admit it. Besides it never hurts to get a 2nd opinion, maybe he has something going on mentally/emotionally that they haven't considered or are even thinking of. Sometimes it takes a fresh set of eyes to assess something fully if you know what I mean. And seeing as how the center is asking you guys why that kinda tells me that they don't really have a solution to help you all find an answer to his behavior.
    massage_mama

    Answer by massage_mama at 12:22 PM on Jul. 2, 2008

  • Usually has to do with control (only thing a child has control over is what goes in their body and what goes out.). It is usually a way to show their anger and get attention. For some kids BAD attention is still attention.

    1.get a second opinion from a professional.

    2. when it happens try the following... breath deeply, control your emotions, calmly telling him you are disappointed but nothing else. Very calmly, act as if it is nothing, give him the equipment to clean up and walk away. Don’t speak of it or act on it any more. This stops the reactions and bad attention he might be looking for. If he smells calmly tell him he needs to take a bath and walk away.

    see next answer...no room
    dragonflylane

    Answer by dragonflylane at 3:55 PM on Jul. 3, 2008

  • 3. give him more positive attention. I know this is hard with his behaviors but he needs it. Even if you have to find the smallest things like “I like the clothes you picked out today.” “You are playing very quite right now and I appreciate it.”, “Boy you must like this movie because you are watching it so nicely.” Don’t say anything that is not true. This is very important..;never tell kids things just to say it. You have to mean it. This might be hard at first but will get easier.

    4. DO NOT embarrass him or put him down! This is not going to help anything. Your step son does not need more problems.

    Good luck my heart goes with you.

    dragonflylane

    Answer by dragonflylane at 3:57 PM on Jul. 3, 2008

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