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Week 3 that he is gone, won't even face me after i found

We went to therapy and in therapy he said he was done that i was too temperamental may it sound that he had it with my outburst but he was just as bad. Anyway when i was paying the cell phone bill i decided to check the log and i saw a pattern with a particular number texts and calls that were like an hour long. I was so freaking angry because this was the main reason why i made him leave. I called him at work and threatened to destroy all his belongings if he didn't come clean and he told me this is why he can't deal with me because of my temper and that to please stop threatening him that he does not want to cry and swore to our daughter that he has not been with anyone. I know he is full of shit. My young daughter is crying almost everyday because she misses him. I have my moments where i'm strong and moments when i just break down. He came this saturday to p/u our daughter who he adores. He promised to pay the bills till

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:50 PM on Sep. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • cont' till i can get on my feet. I am going to take full advantage of, hopefully!!! I am working but not making enough have not been able to find an additional job. Recently discovered my older daughter has an eating disorder. So he says he wants me to focus on getting the girls better and that everything will be find down the road. I just thing he is such a F***ing coward. He checked out of this relationship because I neglected he said i was too involved in school while he was too involved at work. But the funny thing is that before we fought he told go partite dedicate yourself to school and the girls they need you. My mom has cancer and she was undergoing chemo and he knew she was going through a hard time. But we fought and he blew up like a monster and cut me off. My little one is the one that is hurting the most. It breaks my heart but i won't call him, he'll text me only when its related to our daughter.

    jenlesly

    Answer by jenlesly at 3:56 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • To me he does not sound like a man you should be worrying about. He is selfish. He is not their for you.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 4:09 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • Wow - keep shining - don't let him take your light. God gives you these things because he knows you can handle it...a year from now, you'll look back and think, "wow - I was a soldier" you'll be graduated and you'll find a job and things will start to fit into place. Bad things don't last forever - trust me.
    dinaca81

    Answer by dinaca81 at 4:09 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • ***HUGS***
    Nessasmomma

    Answer by Nessasmomma at 4:10 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • You need to keep telling yourself that your childs happiness is in part a direct result of your happiness and it doesn't sound like this "man" has made you very happy recently, move on sister. There are many fish in the sea, sorry for the cliche, but it's true, bigger, better, smarter, more loving, and completely devoted. It may not happen today, tomorrow or next month, but when it's right it will. Focus on you and your kid/s and don't let some man tarnish or harden your heart. Good luck and remember, time heals all wounds.
    Liz30355

    Answer by Liz30355 at 4:15 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • You deserve better, more support.
    QandA

    Answer by QandA at 4:15 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • Im sorry, I feel like I have to say it, you admited that you were not very great either, but you see him as horrible, and you as wonderful, do you know for sure that there was something going on? Maybe he has a friend he talks to a lot. Im sorry, but I think you need to look at your own behavior and stop blaming him for everything. You obviously have a bad temper. Maybe start working on you. When a couple gets in that negative cycle it is hard to break it, but it can be done. I know I used to have the worst temper ever, my husband and I fought constantly, but it took me realising that everything was not his fault that I was being unfair and not showing him the respect he deserved, so he wasnt showing it to me either. I started showing him respect, and he turned around over night. Not even kidding. So stop condeming him for all his screw ups and start working on you.
    -LovingMamma-

    Answer by -LovingMamma- at 4:17 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • I'm not bashing but have you been tested for a personality disorder? I have one and there is a group on CM for them and your story sounds like what we go through all the time. That "temper" he talks about may not just be temper. We tend to run our men off all the time. Some stick with us and some leave and never look back. He can't be blamed for trying to find peace in his life. Just set up times for him to see your dd and she will be fine. Let her call him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:06 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • Anon, what kind of personality disorder? Bipolar? Borderline personality? What kind?

    OP, I have a temper, too. My hubby, poor guy, just can't see himself without me. I'm lucky. I have to agree, it takes 2 to make it work. And it takes 2 to break it. Usually. Not always. Sometimes one individual is just a complete muck up. But, if your ex was one to begin with, you wouldn't be so upset. So... please take a step back. It's possible that if you find a way to work on things for yourself, and get yourself to a good place, that maybe the two of you could be happy together again. But you guys just weren't working. And it wasn't just him, it was both of you. Was he really that bad of a guy? Was it all him? We are all here for you, we all want to help you. I hope you see that. If things never work out with him again, at least you need to find happiness for yourself.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 9:45 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • hugs hun , good luck i would be upset to finding numbers on the phone bill
    sherryb1273

    Answer by sherryb1273 at 8:58 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

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