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24 Bumps

Would this hurt your feelings too?

I was once married to a man who I have a daughter with ( who is now 4 years old) .. he passed away and his family just basically stopped talking to me and havent seen our daughter since. I am now engaged to a great guy who she calls daddy and we just had a son together, up until this point we have never had a problem, my daughter calls him daddy, he says she is is and when we get married he is "adopting" her ( and changing her name) ... his family we see every once in awhile but they are aware of how things are... but they refuse to accept my daughter as part of the family and this weekend made it clear... We got family pictures done with his parents, his sister ( who also has a "step child" ) and her kids and husband.... His mother actually asked the photographer to keep my daughter out of the picture !! I was so furious that we left ! Can you believe someone would do that ?!?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:11 PM on Sep. 19, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Answers (51)
  • simple frownThat was really mean of her!

    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 4:13 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • I would have been pissed, too! I 'm sorry that happened.
    KyliesMom5

    Answer by KyliesMom5 at 4:14 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • That is extremely hurtful - I can't respect that. For your daughter's sake (no matter how hard it hurts you), don't ever be the barrier that prevents her from connecting to them...however, I think it's his mom who is being the barrier (but 2 wrongs dont make a right). Keep being open and loving - your daughter will love you for doing everything you could to give her a piece of her biological dad even though he's not here anymore.
    dinaca81

    Answer by dinaca81 at 4:16 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • That was insanely disrespectful of her. I am so sorry. :( *hugs*

    aliceryannesmom

    Answer by aliceryannesmom at 4:17 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • My MIL would have done the same thing. We had family pictures done at their 40th anniversary and they had me and their daughters hubby step aside because we weren't "family" I felt like leaving
    Mommy2Gabrielle

    Answer by Mommy2Gabrielle at 4:19 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • It may just be she thought some of the people she'd be sending the pictures to might not like it but she still shouldn't have done it. It was very insensitive. I would suggest that your fiance have a chat with her and explain how hurtful she was being. If she feels this way you may want to restrict her contact with your family for your daughter's sake.
    L.A.F.outloud

    Answer by L.A.F.outloud at 4:19 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • thats so horrible, what did your future husband make of all this? I hope his said something to his mother as her behaviour cant carry on like this.
    DawnLauren

    Answer by DawnLauren at 4:19 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • JUST KNOW THEY THE ONES MISSING OUT ON A WOUNDERFUL PERSON...she got you and lots of good love she dont need any negativity in her life. i know how you feel it hurts but just know that one day they will have to face her. one day she will be a grown up and want answers and that will be there punishment facing the woman that was once a child that they neglected.


    YOU JUST ROCK ON AS A MOMMY =)

    iNk-FrEaK

    Answer by iNk-FrEaK at 4:24 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • How hurtful that had to be. What possibly could a precious little 4 year old do to have this woman act this way. I'm sorry that happened to you and your DD. I'm curious as to what your SO had to say about this.

    zbee

    Answer by zbee at 4:26 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • I would suggest you speak to her on another day... and share this pain which you have felt. I would say... Yes I would be hurt... but it isn't like the girl... your daughter is her family. Ignorance is ignorance.. you sadly will have to understand that you can't change those who wish to be ignorant.
    MAKEMYDAY101

    Answer by MAKEMYDAY101 at 4:29 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

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