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Explain this to me. What are your expectations for marriage?

Are people really going into a marriage with the thought that divorce is always there if they need an "out?"

What is the point of pre-nuptual agreements? If you really are in love, and you believe that it is forever, why are you planning for your divorce?

I know that there are truly tragic situations that warrant a divorce, but it seems like so many people are unaware of the seriousness of divorce.

 
3gifts.from.god

Asked by 3gifts.from.god at 12:57 AM on Oct. 19, 2008 in Relationships

Level 12 (724 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • My husband and I got married young (17 and 18). We were pg, but we had chosen to get pg and wanted to get married ( again, young and immature too!). Anyway, we went into it with "this is forever" and we are about to celebrate our 11th anniversary in Dec.! I really think your take on marriage has a lot to do with your faith. If you're not a believer, than what consequences do you have for not keeping your promise?? None really. To me, that commitment I made was the biggest promise I will ever make. To my husband, to my God, and now to my kids too. We renewed our vows for our 10th anniversary and also brought the girls up and vowed to them that we would always be together, always love each other, and always be a family for them. To me, when you know it's FOREVER....you work at making it a happy forever! =0)
    Erin333

    Answer by Erin333 at 7:16 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • I owned my home before I met my husband. I work hard for what I earned. He didn't. If things don't work out in my marriage, he doesn't deserve to take away the things I brought into the marriage. I had to title off my deed to my home. Sorry, my kids need a home if we divorce. I am fully aware of the seriousness of divorce and would use divorce as an absolute last resort. However, human behavior never ceases to amaze me. If I discover that my husband has a major character flaw that justifies divorce, I shouldn't have to lose everything I own to make myself whole again. That is why prenups are important.
    cdgoldilocks

    Answer by cdgoldilocks at 1:02 AM on Oct. 19, 2008

  • It seems to me that many people are unaware of the seriousness of marriage.
    PROGENITOR

    Answer by PROGENITOR at 1:04 AM on Oct. 19, 2008

  • I agree with you. I don't think marriage is taken as seriously anymore as it should be. I came into my marriage knowing that it would last until death, there are only 2 reasons I would ever even consider divorce and those are infedelity or physical abuse.

    I don't agree with prenups and I don't think that someone who doesn't take their vows seriously should get married in the first place.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 1:05 AM on Oct. 19, 2008

  • I, personally, have a hard time understanding how some are so surprised because they never imagined divorcing, when they married for the wrong reasons to begin with. Honestly, if you have a bad relationship then get married simply because of an unintended pregnancy how can you be surprised when it doesn't last?!? (using a general example of course)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:06 AM on Oct. 19, 2008

  • I have to agree with the first couple of posts. People rush into marriage b/c they are young, in love, and the heat of the moment. Whats going to go wrong when your 18 right? Then they add babies and bills. I see alot of this with young military wives. Then they can't get out b/c it cost so much to get divorced. Marriage has lost its meaning. Friendship, honesty, and a life long commitment. I've been married 5 years with no looks of divorce in the future.
    alaskaice

    Answer by alaskaice at 1:12 AM on Oct. 19, 2008

  • I agree with alaskaice. I divorced my first because of abuse (and stayed in it for too long actually), and I married the man who got me out...an old friend that I'd known for well over 15 years when we started seeing each other. We've been married over a year now, and I can't imagine myself with anyone else and don't WANT to be with anyone else. Because we were friends first, we have that to fall back on.
    rhope4

    Answer by rhope4 at 1:23 AM on Oct. 19, 2008

  • I believe marriage is a mutual respect. You mush have good communication, trust, loyalty and to be true not only to your self but to your husband. I married my husband a week before I turned 21 everyone thought we would not last. Well, 20 years later were still more in love than ever. I am not saying marriage is always perfect. We have had our share of arguments neither of us threatened divorce. I love being a wife and mother and am blessed to have such a loving husband.

    mommiedear

    Answer by mommiedear at 2:53 AM on Oct. 19, 2008

  • Marriage is a partnership and a growing together.

    BUT...the wise person understands that we all change...and sometimes we grow apart. The younger you are when married, the more likely that is to happen.

    Hope for the best, work for the best...but ALWAYS plan for the worst.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 5:59 AM on Oct. 19, 2008

  • My 1st marriage was a disaster, my 2nd, was stupid, my 3rd, is WONDERFUL, we are the BEST of friends, we were together for 16 years and we got married because it was something we both wanted!!! We love each other unconditonally, we are best friends, we are lovers, we are strong together as one, we are proud to have each other, we understand each others needs, so, I love him and he feels the same, I can't explain it, but we know we will be together forever until the day one of us dies. Sound crazy, but TRUE!!!!! He's my HERO!!!!!!!!!! I never have to worry about anything like abuse, cheating, or any of those things, we have a real MARRIAGE! No divorce necessary!
    Freda01

    Answer by Freda01 at 10:41 AM on Oct. 19, 2008