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my 11 (12 in december) yr old son and i just absolutely do not get along at all. he hates it here wants to leave, he makes everyone including himself miserable i need help seriously.

He's been in counseling for over a year and even the couselor feels kind of helpless bc she's not making any progress at all things are getting worse not better. I have him, a 10, 8 and 4 year old and a baby due in 3 weeks, he stresses me out more than any kid should and I feel like a failure, don't know what to do. His bio father is no help he makes things worse and my husband now tries and tries but my son hates him and won't give him any sort of respect at all... Help me!

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Asked by lesliematozo at 5:30 PM on Sep. 19, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • Clearly, your family needs a different therapist

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:35 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • Drop the counsler you do have, sit him down and talk to him. Not as a mom, take more of a teacher mentality. Let him know good and bad things he is bringing to the table. Ask him how he wants to fix things. Does he want to find a new counsler, maybe a psych. since they are more in depth. Is there a hobby you can help him get started in or a sport? Let him know how big of a role model he is to his siblings but voice that in a proud positive manner.
    I'm the older of my sister and I but my relationship with my parents is ruined because they didn't take the time to help me when I was his age. Don't overly stress, go one day at a time, one question everyday. How are you, how was school, you pick dinner- what are you hungry for? Simple ways to reconnect with him is the best start. I wish my parents would of done that.

    Answer by DonnaPinitonya at 5:38 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • I have tried and tried this has been going on ever since he was little, he refuses to do anything, he's making D's and F's in school. He won't play sports bc he doesn't like to be told what to do, I made him play football last year just to see if maybe that would help and he wouldn't do anything I or coaches told him. He's seen a child psychologist and she diagnosed him with adhd and put him on meds which has helped him not be so jittery but that's about it. Its been suggested to me that I call a hospital like a mental hospital almost that he is shwing signs and characteristics of a sociopath but I don't know if this is the right step and I'm very hesitant about it...

    Comment by lesliematozo (original poster) at 5:55 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • Sometimes ADHD is misdiagnosed in children, as the symptoms for ADHD are similar to Bipolar...I'd suggest a psychiatrist to evaluate him again. I'm not sure what the signs of a sociopath are, but I'd definitely look into another psychiatrist for a second opinion.
    Pyschologists can't help unless the child is open, I'm willing to guess that's where her frustration lies. If he has bipolar or something else his meds may not be right. Have you tried family counseling or maybe just you and your son for a couple sessions?
    All we can do is love them, guide them and support them.
    It might be worth checking into a hospital and having him go for a few days to be under observation, I know if it were my children I would do anything I could think of. If you are trying and getting him the help you can - you're not a failure.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 12:24 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

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