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9 Bumps

S/O If a fourteen year old is pregnant, how is it HER decision what happens?

Hear me out...
I've just heard this around here, and I want to know the reason. I'm 100% prolife.
but if a child gets pregnant, then the child's parents have a baby. Period, end of story.
so, the child gets to make the decision on her own for her parents? Can a fourteen year old pay for a baby? NO. Can she provide for a baby, NO!

So why is whether or not a baby is added to the house hold up to a child?
If the child wants an abortion and the parents are pro life, are they to pay for it because that's the child's decision? Are they to sign consent for a medical procedure they believe is murder?

How do the people who ultimately have to foot the bill for the child's foolishness have no say according to so many?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:22 PM on Sep. 19, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Answers (39)
  • good question...however, if they really cared either way then they wouldve done more to prevent it from happening to begin with.
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 9:26 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • but there are options for 14 yo that have babies....so it is ultimately her body....its not up to us to judge her for the mistake...though as we all know not a healthy one...but this isn't just a decision for the here and now,...an abortion could mean she MAY never be able to have another child of her own in the future....if the 14yo and her parents can work something out together, then the 14 yo in my opinion has the option of finding a way on her own....there are homes where she can go to learn how to be responsible and continue in her schooling at the same time....if it were my daughter i would lay out the options, let her choose and help her wherever i could....but she'd be responsible for the child's care should she choose to have the baby before and after school....14 yo is old enough to make decisions about their life...it's obvious a good decision was not made, but we all have to face bad decisions in our life....
    FXmomTo3

    Answer by FXmomTo3 at 9:28 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • If my daughter would get pregnant at 14 or as a teenager i would want to keep the baby even if she didn't however if she wanted an abortion I would be ok with that too. If I didn't let her get one I would be afraid she would go some place unsafe and get one herself hurting herself more and maybe causing more damage

    if she wanted to keep the baby she would have to get a part time job to help out paying for everything though. At 14 a kid can work in a grocery store
    Smiley001

    Answer by Smiley001 at 9:29 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • it's HER body and HER baby.
    I understand that you are pro-life and that's great, but you forcing her to have it is gonna cost WAY more as far as money goes *since you mentioned money...and ultimately, she has to live with whatever decision is made for the rest of her life. i think you all need to have a very serious talk-maybe with someone else around who is not directly affected by what's going on
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 9:33 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • Really? You are gonna strap a 14yo down to the table and force her legs open and make her do it? That's healthy. Pretty sure it's her choice. No it's not fair to the parents, but it's still not their call. It's not the parents choice if she did get an abortion, she can go to planned paretnhood and do it anyway.And they don't HAVE to legally support their grandchild.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 9:36 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • I just want to add- that if you make her have the baby and she doesn't want it...that kid is eventually going to find out and then what?
    you will be dealing with all the issues that go with that as well

    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 9:45 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • If a 14 year old girl has sex....that's mistake one.
    If she thinks she can decide what to do, that is mistake two.
    I don't even want to think about 14 year olds having sex.
    Her parents must be totally stupid and uninvolved with her life.
    gertie41

    Answer by gertie41 at 9:56 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • The first answer was short, sweet and definitely the point.

    But, if I were in the situation - (which, if I were, I would have had her at 14 too) I would help her with all the options and ultimately let her decide. I would make sure she knew how big of a cause and effect her being careless really is. It would be heartbreaking to see her have to go through an abortion or adoption because that would technically be my flesh and blood, my grandchild. On the other hand, I would also not be too happy about raising and supporting my grandchild while my daughter finishes up MIDDLE school!

    I plan to prevent this by having talks with my children, making sure they know where to get a hold of birth control and then hoping I have raised them with a good head on their shoulders.
    sunshine58103

    Answer by sunshine58103 at 10:02 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • @ gertie41 I think it is totally unfair for you to say that the parents are stupid and uninvolved ..Yes having a baby at 14 is a mistake, however it is something that has been going on for centuries...I dont consider myself stupid and I am very involved in my childrens lives, I have a step-daughter (was not living with me at the time) that got pregnant at 14..Her mother made the decision for US all that she would keep the baby...Eventally both her and the baby came to live with my DH and I....I was not for her having the baby however once he was here it was something we had to deal with...He is the most beautiful little boy, cute smile and he make me laugh...My step-daughter has since graduated both HS and College, She is currently a nurse and has since found a wonderful man (not the father) and married..As it was not the path I wished her to take, she took it with grace with the support and help of her unjudgemental family...
    sam223

    Answer by sam223 at 10:17 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • I think so no one should be forced to do anything.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 10:47 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

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