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i am in love with two husband is driving me nuts what would u do

i am married and i love my husband but also i love a man i dated a year ago...i dont know what i should and my husband are working on things but he seems too jelous and protective....he told me that he had a dream the other night that he caught me cheating on him so he wanted to go get a gun and come down to where i am vacationing and find out things...he calls me non stop (ps i am with my grandmother) he called and texted me 14 time from 11pm til 4am trying to find out what i was doing and whrer i was....what should i do..i am about to go nuts

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:25 PM on Sep. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Anyone who says they are going to get a gun and come looking for you is not someone you should have in your life.

    Answer by ecodani at 11:27 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • Well, I would maybe see a therapy doc to help that problem. I think love gets tossed around to much-I personally don't think you can love 2 people at once. To each their own though.

    Answer by Chell.o_0 at 11:28 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • sounds like you haven't been married long (if you were dating this other guy a year ago) I agree with the previous post. Any man who says they're going to get a gun and threaten you like that is BAD NEWS. I would be very careful how you handle the situation, because he is obviously not stable. be careful and good luck.

    Answer by 1st_time_mom23 at 11:30 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • You need to stay with your grandmother until he gets counseling.
    this other guy did you ever have sex with him? If so you are still tied to him in that way and its a soul tie that needs breaking. If you want to save your marriage you need to be freed of that tie with the old bf.

    Answer by Shaneagle777 at 11:38 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • The moment your husband mentioned coming there with a gun just because he had a dream is the moment you need to realize that that is the first start of abuse.

    My boyfriend and I have had problems, including something quite similar. He'd had dreams that I was cheating on him, but rather than making any sort of threats, he'd just treat me as though I'd actually done it, which was bad enough! We've managed to work through our problems, but I'm sorry, some dude mentions a gun like that and it's over. Get out of there, ASAP Jealous husbands and guns do NOT mix.

    Answer by PaganMommy04 at 11:43 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • Why are you "in love" with two men? You made the CHOICE to commit yourself to your husband. Why is this other guy even a thought? Yeah, i can see your husband being insecure because of this situation, especially if he knows how you feel about the other guy. You either need to leave your husband or commit to him fully.

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 11:52 PM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • I think you should have waited before you got married. It is so obvious that you're in love with your ex. Your husband is acting this way because he knows your doing something. You have him feeling insecure. I think you feel smothered. The only way that your marriage is going to work is if you get rid of the other guy and focus on your husband. If you truly love him make him feel secure. Once he feels secure in your relationship and he feels he can trust you he will back off. But on the other hand, if you want to be with this other man let your husband go.......Before he really goes CRAZY!!!

    Answer by TeeHas3 at 12:10 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • You have two different issues here and one is far more dangerous that you expect. I agree with the other posters, any time a guy mentions a gun and hunting you down is a sign of abuse to come. All this possessiveness, controlling behavior is already abusive. What is going to happen when you get home and you cannot convince him that you did not cheat on this vacation?? Is he going to shoot you then?

    Being in love with two people doesn't mean your going to cheat. Most of the time it means that you didn't give yourself time enough to heal from the previous relationship. And this marriage sounds like a rebound relationship and already heading for disaster. Make sure you stay in one piece long enough to figure out why you love two men at once.

    Answer by isabellalecour at 7:35 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • First off, do you take any blame in this? He knows you 'love' someone else. (BTW, I no way believe you can be in love with more then one man at a time). He knows. So, in his mind, you are cheating. And he's going crazy. Go ahead and take some of the blame here.
    Second, he does need help. Threatening to get a gun, not a good sign. Especially when you are with your grandma. However, he probably doesn't believe you are with her, and not with another man.
    You need to either commit 100% to your HUSBAND, or get out of your marriage. Meh, since he's already threatened with a gun, maybe you should really re-think the whole marriage thing.

    Answer by Raine2001 at 10:45 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

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