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How do you get your 20 year old to go to work?

She was so spoiled & now I told her that is over! When will she wake up? No bashing, please


Asked by NicolesMommy at 12:59 AM on Sep. 20, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 22 (12,504 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • I would go through a list of all the things you currently do for her- laundry, dishes, making dinner, cleaning and all of the things she uses- internet, phone, car, etc. Itemize a list of how much each thing would cost for a maid to do, and start charging her rent for the other things- either half of all your expenses, or simply a flat amount, even $100-$200 a month rent, $50 for food, $100 for you doing everything for her. Make living with you a living hell... she'll want to move out! (I am 19 and have lived on my own for 3 years.)

    Answer by Annabel1809Lee at 8:17 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • Kick her out of the house and stop buying her stuff. Period, that's it. She won't do it unless she has to, if she is spoiled.

    Answer by getrealmama at 1:02 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • kick her out and tell her welcome to the REAL world! I was on my own paying bills at 17 and the world had no free hand outs for me.

    Answer by hill2 at 1:06 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • so agree with the first poster.

    Answer by stressedmomma13 at 1:06 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • Kids often stay at home because we make it easy for them. We do their laundry and hand them money, cook for them and take care of all their needs. Still, it's hard to just kick them out and watch the ensuing drama unfold. It will surely be difficult for her to leave the nest unless you make moving out look like more fun than living at home. Set a date for her to move out, let her know about it, then put your plan into motion. Hold her to an ever growing list of chores and responsibililties while she lives with you and start making life a whole lot more inconvenient for her. Let her know you expect her to get a job, wake her up early every day to get dressed and looking, then tell her you're going need help paying the rent. Soon enough, she'll get the idea that it's time to grow up you'll know you did the right thing. Good Luck!

    Answer by Blabbermouth at 1:27 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • I agree with previous posters. Kick her out! MAYBE help her find a job if you feel like you should, but don't support her anymore!

    Answer by SarahLeeMorgan at 1:10 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • Your the mom right dont you wont better for her tell her like it is but if you spoliled her than i fell for you b/c now she knows how to get her way with you kick her out i dont know thats still your kid ez for someone to say that if its not their own

    Answer by LoVe4Free at 1:28 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • Don't support her anymore. Make her pay her own way and take away things from her until she gets a job to pay for them. Make her pay for her own phone, internet, food, , car/gas/ins., have her do her own laundry, clean the house, and if she makes enough pay for some rent.

    Answer by Congenial at 1:31 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • Well I am 23 years old and being about her age I would suggest just cutting her off. Tell her once and if she blos it off follow through with it and she will eventually realize "Wow she was serious" Thats just my opnion

    Answer by S0CalM0mma0503 at 1:35 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • I agree with everyone so far... I was on my own at 15.. in high school and working to take care of myself. Set some ground rules ....give her a certain time frame to work with to find a job and save money... no spending and if she refuses to meet it ......give her the boot. I know it sounds harsh... but i guarantee if u do , she will make it cause she will have no choice and she will realize that. umless you plan on footing the bill for her forever. As a momma u love her more than ne thing else in the world.... so help her to become the woman u raised her to be so she can be proud of herself!

    Answer by harris4 at 1:38 AM on Sep. 20, 2010