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3 Bumps


My husband has a new female coworker who I think has another agenda to their work friendship. My husband seems absolutely oblivious and anytime I say anything he gets upset, defending HER and if I keep expressing my concerns I feel like he's going to turn against me. I'm wide awake right now because this girl text him at 12:48 a.m. I asked him why in the world she would do that and of course he's irritated he was woken up by her text, he doesn't care and he thinks I'm overreacting. She also called him the other day to see if he would be on standby to come over if her soon to be exhusband got out of hand. I'm know there are other non married not busy guys she could have called. And to top it off, she is on the boat with him and will be deploying with him in January for 6 months. They were just on the boat together for 6 weeks. I have a bad feeling that she is up to no good, and dh is too or he's absolutely oblivious.


Asked by Anonymous at 2:24 AM on Sep. 20, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Yes it's inappropriate but the real problem is what are you going to do about it?! She's about to be on a boat with your husband for 6 months. Your husband is the one who needs to set boundaries or else this could get ugly. I would use this time wisely to make your marriage as strong as possible and talk to him about how her behavior makes you feel.
    I know if he cares about you he'll nip this crud in the bud before it drives you nuts.

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 8:36 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • I am the type of person who likes to confront issues head on, so I would probably invite her to coffee or dinner if time permitted. Having a casual sit-down experience might give you time to see where her head is at and, if she's just looking for a friend, maybe that could be you instead of hubby. At the very least, you could walk away from the situation with a clearer understanding of what is happening and with the opportunity to express your concerns if, by the end of dinner, you feel that is warranted. Good luck.

    Answer by ShaunnaMichelle at 2:35 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • Sounds like she needs a friend and is trying to replace her soon to be ex because in her eyes they have bonded by being together for work. I don't condone calling his CO but if he doesn't listen and this continues on, closer to the next deployment than you may want to call because she is out of line.

    Answer by DonnaPinitonya at 2:28 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • Um, sounds very very suspicious....

    Answer by XdollskinX at 2:59 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • why does she have your dh phone number in the first place, just asking thinking that is just crossing the line and co workers is all they should ever be.

    Answer by kriszaz at 2:54 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • kriszaz- she probably has his cell phone number because there is more than likely a contact list posted in their office somewhere with home phone numbers and cell phone numbers so anybody can be reached at any time.

    however, even though she has access to his cell phone number she shouldn't be texting a married man in the middle of the night like that. it just makes things look suspicious and she really should know that because she has been/is married. her behavior is inappropriate! and she not not be defending her!

    i agree with shaunnamichelle. that would be a good way to feel her out and maybe befriend her. keep your friends close and your enemies closer, after all! ; ) good luck

    Answer by pmg1030 at 6:25 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • Absolutely inappropriate! Who txts a married man in the middle of the night?When he's with his family? I'd also take it up with hubby. Surely if he sees this is upsetting you, he'd ask her to stop - if he is really so oblivious to her advances.
    Perhaps, Do befriend her and suss it out

    Answer by CassyzMom at 8:29 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • this is very inappropriate she is crossing alot of boundaries and the reason she is doing that is cause your man is letting her u need to make it clear to your man your feeling and he should set boundary with this female remember it take two to tango


    Answer by cnoble927 at 9:09 AM on Sep. 20, 2010