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2 Bumps

what should i do?

last night i told my husband that i want a divorce, and his reply is.." here we go again, why do you like so much drama? go ahead and do want u wanna do, i wanna sleep, leave me alone. " ok, today in the morning, he has been acting like everything is just fine, carrying on like nothing happened the night before. The thing is, am no longer in love with him, i have told him that, but he doesnt realy care, i am ready to work thing out, but it seems am the only one who think we have a problem, acording to my hubby, am just an emotional drama queen, who is always looking for urgument, and who is never satisfied no matter what he does. we cannot communicate and he does not want to go for counselling since" we dont have a problem" ......am planning to contact a lawyer tomorrow. i feel that i have no choice but end this marriage since am so unhappy and my patner seems not to give a damn!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:29 AM on Sep. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • do whats best for you hun
    LoVe4Free

    Answer by LoVe4Free at 5:03 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • He probably cares but can't face the problem. I tend to do this myself... if I get too stressed out about something, I shut down. I go about my life as if nothing is wrong. So I think he cares, he probably can't handle the thought of you leaving him.
    Gremlyn1980

    Answer by Gremlyn1980 at 5:47 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • Sounds like you "cry wolf" a lot. When he comments "here we go again" it sounds like you pull the divorce card often? Either you need to detail out the exact issues you have with him and see if he's willing to hear you or just file for divorce. That will surely get his attention and then maybe he'll believe that you truly do have some problems.
    Be careful though if you really don't want a divorce...it may affect him really badly and he may no longer want to work things out with you.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 8:28 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • I'm sure he cares, but based on what you wrote, you have said this to him before and never followed through with your threats. You two probably should get some counselling. If you truly want a divorce then go file, but if you say you want a divorce every time things aren't the happiest then you have helped him to become this apathetic. Obviously each person in a relationship has their own faults, he has some, you have some. Try to look at what you can change about yourself that will make your situation better before throwing his faults up at him.
    slw123

    Answer by slw123 at 8:33 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • Judging by his response to you, I'm guessing this isn't the first time you've told him that. If you tell someone you're going to leave enough times, they start to feel apathetic towards that person. If you're not happy, and he doesn't want to talk about it, it's time to move on.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 10:14 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • I am sure he cares, but some men don't feel that everything is a marriage ender. I know when I am upset and talk to my husband, he will say something similar. I don't say I want a divorce, he just assumes that is where I am headed. I think if you talk to him about how you are feeling and not point the finger towards him the conversation will go smoother. I know if I start it out saying "you this" or "you that" it never goes well, but if I start out with "I feel this" or "I feel that" he responds a lot better.
    NicEnno

    Answer by NicEnno at 11:21 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • you say you don't love him but then you are upset that he doesn't care. so which is it. if you didn't love him wouldn't you be happy that he doesn't care. it would make it easier for you to leave. also i get that you want to work this out since your asking a question regarding the whole divorce question. if it;s truly black and white then just leave him. although i don't think you should. to me it just sounds like you could get some advice from reading some books on marriage. like "the proper care and feeding of husbands." it's to bad that he doesn't see your unhappy. sometimes the problem really does lie with us although i'm not saying your at fault. most times it's 50/50 in a relationship. thing is marriage is never 100% perfect.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 7:50 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

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