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Hubby had an abusive father

My hubby grew up with an abusive dad. I'm so scared he turns out to be an abusive father. So far he's been great with our daughter, he gets annoyed at times (red flag?) but doesn't get too intense. I know the stats. I want to know if anyone has had personal experience (good or bad)


Asked by CassyzMom at 5:23 AM on Sep. 20, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (8)
  • My husband grew up in an extremely abusive situation. Like your DH, he can be too intense at times but he has never laid hands on either of our kids - he's told me that he's very aware of how his dad was and will do anything not to turn out like him. And so far, he's been a very involved, active dad, he's firm with discipline but not too much. Although he's not as "loving" as I am, but that's OK.

    Answer by MommaofH2 at 5:49 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • I was abused but I do not abuse my kids. Not everyone who grew up with it do it.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 5:57 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • I was abused as a child, & I haven't abused my son nor will I. Its okay to get annoyed wtih a child... Its part of being a human. I worry about those who say that they never get annoyed....


    Answer by lilmoosesmom at 6:23 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • Maybe have a talk with him about his feelings about breaking the chain and not be like his father and be the father to your alls DD that he wish he had growing up.

    Answer by raemommy at 6:27 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • I was physically abused as a child. I do not abuse my children.

    Don't you ever get annoyed?? I know I do, but it's not a red flag.

    It's even OK to get angry. It's not anger or annoyance that is the red flag, it what they DO when they are angery or annoyed that might be a red flag.

    Answer by layh41407 at 6:27 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • I would like to add that everybody gets annoyed but don't take it out (shout) at the baby

    Comment by CassyzMom (original poster) at 6:35 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • I was verbally abused by my Dad. He was stuck in this vicious cycle that had been in his family for who knows how long. He did not know how to break the cycle but did get better. Out of all my siblings I am the one most like my Dad in personality. THat scared the hell out of me as a child because the last thing I wanted was so be like him. One thing I have learned is that you can have an unpleasant past that does help shape who you are but it does not make you who you are. It is that persons choice what road they will choose.

    Answer by KyliesMom5 at 7:09 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • I was abused by my mum and I have never ever laid hands on our son and I never will! I despise her for how she treated me and my sister and if my boyfriend was writing this thread about me you would see a red flag with anger as you are being unfair! I mean what you can get annoyed and its fine but because he was abused by someone it's not alright? some people...

    Answer by DeansMother at 7:49 AM on Sep. 20, 2010