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4 Bumps

S/O Teen Pregnancy Q

According to the beliefs of some, the parents are solely at fault if they children become sexually active before adulthood (or marriage)...

If a girl is raped, would she not have to be in the same exact circumstance which would permit her to have consensual sexual intercourse? She would have to be alone, or alone with a man- Even if only for a few moments... If this is the case, then is it not the parents fault if she is raped?

***Note that this is not my personal belief***

 
ObbyDobbie

Asked by ObbyDobbie at 7:47 AM on Sep. 20, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 34 (70,074 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (23)
  • Music - yes I blamed the parents in the other question because they obviously failed to teach their daughter about abstinence or even safe sex.

    Obby - I think my explanation to Music explains why I blame parents in one situation but not the other.
    purpleducky

    Answer by purpleducky at 9:17 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • It is not the parents fault if their child is sexually active before marraige and gets pregnant. You can teach them everything and give them the best of everything, but they still have choices to make. I agree that sometimes it is the parents fault, though. Some parents let their teens run around and get themselves into all kinds of situations. If they would quit letting them stay gone all of the time and do whatever they want, and give them responsibility, they would be less likely to get in any kind of trouble. This applies to rape as well. If you don't know where your teenager is, and she is drunk at a party, and gets raped, you have some blame in the situation if you weren't vigilant enough in know what she was doing at all times. Parents get a break somewhat, though, because all teenagers lie and can be very hard to keep track of.
    momof3josephs

    Answer by momof3josephs at 7:55 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • So then you want to lock up children until they are adults? Children, especially teenagers, cannot be supervised 24/7. Like they go to friends' houses to hang out and sometimes friends aren't really friends.
    purpleducky

    Answer by purpleducky at 7:56 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • That isn't always the case that she is alone with the man... and your making it sound like just because she was alone with a man that she asked for it! It wouldn't be anyone's fault other than the horrible man who forced himself on a girl!!! There are many different situations and ways this could go about...and it is completely sick that things like this happen!

    mrsmamaj

    Answer by mrsmamaj at 7:56 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • Purple ducky? No offense honestly, but I just got done looking at a post where you said it was obviously the parents fault if the 14 yo was preg? I'm confused.


    As for my opinion....I got pregnant at 16, and in no way shap or form do I blame my parents. They did everything in their power to stop me from making poor choices. I was very willful, and determined to do what I wanted. It's not always that simple.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 8:18 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • I was a teen mom and it was definetly not parents fault. My actions my consequences. Did I know I could get pregnant if I had sex? yes Did that stop me? No it didn't. Did my parents know I was having sex? no they didn't. So therefore no it's not the parents fault
    nngmommy83

    Answer by nngmommy83 at 2:36 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • Ok, the ONLY person at fault in a rape is the perp!
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 1:23 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • It is in no way the parents fault in most cases. My parents were good parents always had a close eye on me and checked on e none stop at my friends house. I started having sex at 11, got raped at 12, got pregnant at 14, had a baby at 15, and got married at 17. My parents were strict and very awsome parents and I still got myself into messed up situation all the time.
    K3lly94

    Answer by K3lly94 at 4:35 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • As a parent you do the best you can, you can only teach a child so much. As they get older they are influenced by friends, TV etc. Children who are raised in loving supportive homes are also more prone to trust other people too easily, this gets taken advantage of. Having said that, I believe nobody can put themselves in the position to be raped. If that were the case, I would have done it plenty of times. An innocent chat.... going to see a guys new car.. accepting help from a stranger. Should we then avoid all contact with men? It's unfair to blame the parents for everything. It's not the parent or the victim's fault she was raped. Why not blame the sick, perverted guy who doesn't understand the meaning of NO. I'm disgusted anyone would even think something like that.
    CassyzMom

    Answer by CassyzMom at 8:01 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • So then you want to lock up children until they are adults? Children, especially teenagers, cannot be supervised 24/7. Like they go to friends' houses to hang out and sometimes friends aren't really friends.

    ou don't lock them up...ou supervise them. You call the parents of the place they say they will be, you meet the parents. You protect them, that is your job. I am not saying it is ALWAYS the parents fault, but sometimes it certainly is, especially in a culture where people think teens are supposed to have the freedom of adults with none of the responsibility. Teens lie about where they are, who they are with, when they are coming home...etc. But if the parents are not checking up on them it is easy to lie and get away with it.
    momof3josephs

    Answer by momof3josephs at 8:12 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

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