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3 Bumps

emotional abuse

I think I just realized how emotionally abusive my SO is. Have you been emotionally abused by a man. If so how did it afect you and can you make a man whom is doing this change? I've beem so depressed and I just realized that he makes me feel terrible, inadequate, bad, ugy, stupid, and worthless.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:24 AM on Sep. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • I would suggest confronting him and going to some counseling. No one should make you feel that way.
    MizAnn

    Answer by MizAnn at 9:29 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • no but I knew a woman who abused her SO in the same way. He was pretty beaten up. Women can be mean to, sadly.
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 9:31 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • I have been in the past. And honestly, no I was not able to get my ex to change the way he talked to and treated me. But, no man should make you feel the way you do right now. Honestly speaking, even with extensive counseling few abusers change. Just keep your head up. Know that he is the one with the problem, not you.
    mommy11260

    Answer by mommy11260 at 9:31 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • Oh sweetheart I'm sorry you're going through this. I've never really been emotionally abused, although recently DH and I have had hard times and he's said a lot of hurtful things.
    Ultimately if he's making you feel that way I'd communicate this with him - either sit down and talk, write him a letter, however you can get through to him. If that doesn't work, honey, I'd leave him. You deserve so much better than that...
    MamaLisa1976

    Answer by MamaLisa1976 at 9:33 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • I have been emotionally abused by two men in my life. The first one was my Dad. He did leave some emotional scars but I was able to move past that and had a good relationship with him as an adult. When I was a child he was an undiagnosed and untreated bipolar. He got help and our lives got better. He knew the mistakes he made with his kids and saw my daughter as his second chance. He showed us all what a good man he was (he passed last October). I fell into a trap though. I fell in love with a man that was not my Dad but was emotionally abusive in differant ways. I had become codependant, depressed and had lost myself somewhere along the way. He took advantage of me at my weakest point in my life and I had become oppressed by him. He walked out on me 3 months ago and it was the best thing that could have happened to me. I realized what he had done and did not like the person I had become. I did not like what I
    KyliesMom5

    Answer by KyliesMom5 at 9:35 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • My dad. I am now close to 50 and he is still doing it, but by now, I realize he is not aware of it. I am now in therapy because of it. I love him, but I believed what he said about me and my self esteem has been shot down. Now I am away from it. I have learned to value who I am (and it took a LONG time to get here). If I am around him, I am still hesitant, but I stand my ground.
    MaryWolfe

    Answer by MaryWolfe at 9:37 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • Allowed to happen. I have gained confidence, lost weight. I have realized so many things about myself and am becoming a better and stronger person because of it. This road I am on is not an easy one but I know I am strong enough to succeed. My "husband" has become cruel and nasty becasue he has realized he no longer controls me and because I am standing up for myself. Your husband can change but he has to want to. You need to look at yourself because if he is making you feel this way it is not healthy for you or your children.
    KyliesMom5

    Answer by KyliesMom5 at 9:39 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • i have never been emotionally abused by a man or a woman - i think i learned early on not to allow this to go on - my mother was emotionally and physically abused by my father - i used to ask her why she took it - her answer was "because i love him'" and he's always so sorry the next day and then he treats me so good for awhile" - y/r - until the next time - which is only about a week - i grew up like this and knew i would never allow a man to put his hands on me - i new what i was looking for in a husband and waited until i found the perfect man for me - he is loving, kind, and worships the ground i walk on - and i feel the same way about him - emotional abuse is as bad or worse as physical abuse - you must remove yourself from this situation immediately or have your so agree to go to counseling with you to try to solve why he is emotionally abusing you -either way, this must stop immediately - or you will be damaged for life
    kaysimon132461

    Answer by kaysimon132461 at 9:42 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • My ex husband was the king of emotional abuse for 13 years (until I divorced him). I was only 19 when we got married, I thought that his behavior was normal. I felt that if I tried harder, he would be happy and stop. What I realized was that he would never stop, there was nothing *I* could do, he had to want to change himself. By the time I got the courage up to leave, he said he would try counseling. After years of begging him to go, I was done and refused. Too much anger and resentment to work through, he killed every bit of love I had for him.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 9:53 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • yes I used to be in the situation and I do think verbal abuse is worse then physical. Have you tried couseling that may help. Remember you cant make him change he has to want to change, but they can change. If kids are involved they pick up on it to and think its ok to treat someone like that, I still have issuses with my oldest son treating me bad like his father did. Keep your head up and remember your are worth something you have kids that love you. Good luck
    indigo645

    Answer by indigo645 at 10:27 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

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