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How do you know when its over?

Very personal question but its killing me not knowing what to do! I have been married for 6 years to my husband and i feel like we r in such a rut well beyond that and i cant shake this feeling n neither can he. He works law enforcement so we never get to see each other much n im sure that has helped drive a wedge but it is what it is. I love him and always will he is the father to my beautiful kids but i am not in love n feel i need my space just not sure what its gonna be like. We both have become two different people n its very sad:( I guess what questions could i ask myself or really how do i know? Just advice please..im sure im not the first to have experienced this..what did you do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:45 AM on Sep. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • If you've grown apart, you need to work together to turn the relationship around. Sometimes, you drift too far to come back together. Look honestly at your life. Can you see being married to him in 15 years? Is your relationship setting a good example for your children? Are you and your DH good together, or are you better people when you're apart? No one can tell you when/if it's time to leave, but it sounds like you both are at that point. Good luck.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 10:48 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • I have been feeling the same way in my marriage. It feels good to hear I am not alone. Sorry, I know this wasn't giving advice, but just wanted to put it out there.
    NicEnno

    Answer by NicEnno at 10:51 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • Ask yourself this Question....If he didnt work and you could spend every minute with him how would you feel? Maybe you need to date again or just sit down and talk. My advice would be to watch the movie Fireproof together (:
    AWebber212

    Answer by AWebber212 at 10:51 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • This does happen sometimes in a marriage. It is normal, but you two have to stop and think why you married each other, do you respect him and does he respect you, is he a great dad?
    If it is all good than what you do is start to make time to spend together, go out on dates, leave love notes, most important hug and say I love you everyday as you look into his eyes.
    It will fun learning how to love each other again. The sex will be great!
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 10:56 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • I agree with AWebber.........start dating with your hubby and see if the spark comes back, if not, then go with your gut and do what you gotta do. Sometimes people really do grow apart and not much can be done about it. At least if you two can't make it, you will be on good terms with each other and that's very good for your children.......good luck hon.

    zbee

    Answer by zbee at 10:58 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • great advice 1 and 3...and NicEnno...thank you for sharing n it does help to know im not alone either...i feel soo bad for feeling this way...like this is supposed to last forever i cant help my hearts feelings:(
    @ AWebber i suggested the movie, got it from my mom and ended up watching it by myself bc he didnt want to..GREAT MOVIE for couples having troubles! Thanks you guys:)
    HOTMOMS23

    Answer by HOTMOMS23 at 10:59 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • It is a rut. Now the real work of marriage begins here, the getting back to each other work, the whole getting to know each other all over again. The making time for each other. Being understanding, compassionate, and giving each other time. You have become two different people but that's not a bad thing. Just make time for each other, like dating all over again. Communicate, share your dreams, and get back to the knowing. GL

    isabellalecour

    Answer by isabellalecour at 2:02 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

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