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scared to death!

so my bf whom I am now pregnant by, only 8weeks, he already has 2 kids.. which he has nothing to do with.. he used to get 1 of his kids everyother weekend, well him an the mom arent getting along so he just said fuck it, an has nothing to do with her nor his son. I'm sooo scared that he is going to do this to our kid..... My bf doesnt even know who his father is. his mom doesnt have anything to do with him... Just messed up family..

What do you think? WHAT SHOULD I DO? is it just cause I'm pregnant I'm feeling this way??? What if he leaves me? what if he doesnt want anything to do with out baby?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:45 AM on Oct. 19, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • Just because he is mad at his ex. he shouldn't deny haveing a relationship with his children, that isn't fair to them. I would be scared too. Have you thought about marriage? Have you discussed this matter with him, if not then I think that you should let him know how you feel. He might realize that his other kids need him too. You never know, by discussing this with him you might not only help your child, but 2 others too. I'd at least try, kids are innocent, they don't ask to be in this world. The parents make that decission. I feel sorry for kids like that, they need their parent(both) to love them , imagine a life with no love from your parents.

    Answer by Freda01 at 10:53 AM on Oct. 19, 2008

  • You should be concerned,,especaly if you every break up with him...Didn't you know all this before you got pregnant by him?????


    Answer by louise2 at 11:06 AM on Oct. 19, 2008

  • Make sure you are protected leaglly, even if he says he will be there. Make sure he is listed as the baby's father on the birth certificate and get court ordered child support. It may be hard because you want to believe that he will be there, but you need to protect this child. Is marriage an option for you? Not sure if you are at a point in your life where that will work, but if it is, and you two do think about it, keep in mind that you need to do it for love, not just because of the baby. Good luck.

    Answer by chillemi78 at 11:09 AM on Oct. 19, 2008

  • Yes I knew all this, When we met we wanted the same things, Kids,marriage.... He seems different now.... We talk about getting married.. no date yet...

    His ex gf she CRAZY, an i know he shouldn't take it out on his son.. we have already talked about this. an i get no where with it..

    I'm really scared and worried, I'm not working, what if he just up n leaves me? what am I going to do?

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:10 AM on Oct. 19, 2008

  • It will be nice to have him around, but make sure you're prepared if you have to go it alone. Get a court order for child support as soon as the baby is born and apply for WIC asap. Make sure you have a friend or family member that will be there during the delivery too.

    Answer by sbastille at 11:18 AM on Oct. 19, 2008

  • You knew what you were getting your self into then...When you hooked up with him and got pregnant , deal with it,,get a job,,talk to your family ,,make a back up plan when he does leave you...Grown ups have to deal with grow issues..

    Answer by louise2 at 11:26 AM on Oct. 19, 2008

  • All I can say is..... if he got tired of the BS with the X and cut the child off.... no matter what happens, don't do like so many people do and use the child as a weapon, or let your personal relationship with each other affect how you feel toward your child if your relationship ever ends.

    I love this part of being pregnant..... when a person realizes that their choices affects someone else, that they love someone else more than they'd ever imagined possible and that feeling grows and grows and then when you hold the child in your arms after delivery something bursts inside of you and you realize that you love this baby more than anything else, and always would and what you felt during pregnancy was so small compared to that moment.
    I feel bad for you tho... Is it possible for you to deal with the x so that the child can still be a part of your family?

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 11:33 AM on Oct. 19, 2008

  • You should have thought about all this before you decided to get pregnant by a man who has no responsibility for his TWO other kids. Not trying to bash...but you need to secure yourself and your child..because chances are that if he is acting this way now, he will not be there very long..GOOD LUCK TO YOU AND YOUR BABY...

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:51 AM on Oct. 19, 2008

  • Alright. Louise2 is being quite the nasty b*tch to you. Yes, you probably should have thought about this before you got pregnant, but its done now, so you need to make the best of the situation. If he does leave you, then he had no place in your baby's life to begin with. You do need to take this time to try to get a job established and to put a little money away. Try to get him excited and keep him excited about the baby. My sister went through the same thing with her husband...he never saw his other 2 kids, but he is a great father to my niece, so people can change.

    Answer by kabbot01 at 11:59 AM on Oct. 19, 2008

  • You are are affraid because you already know, you have high expectations of someone that has already said 'fuck it" to his other kids.
    The first thing you need to know, is that with or without him: YOU and your child will be just fine!

    Answer by Loba at 12:06 PM on Oct. 19, 2008

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