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3 Bumps

Can anyone Help me find my sanity with my over dramatic son??

I have a 14 year old that is driving me nuts!!! Has a speech to give at school, and is a blubbering mess on the couch crying, and making himself sick over this! I am at my wits end with him, almost to the point of "no return"! He is constantly unpurposefully causing fighting in the household with his mouth, and lack of respect. All he seems to do anymore is annoy me....I love him, dont get me wrong, but I cannot take much more of his attitude. I told him that he will do fine, he sys" I'm just going to tell the teacher I lost it, I said..I will take it to her....he cries and says I dont understand! NO! I don't understand. I was scared to death of public speaking in school also, but I did it, and survived! Help me get my sanity back please. I seriously cannot take it ANY more!!!

Answer Question
 
bcnul8a

Asked by bcnul8a at 11:32 AM on Sep. 20, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 6 (131 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Your kid is having a crisis of nerves and you are just being mean and unhelpful. His hormones are totally out of whack and he is scared of giving the big speech. You should be building him up not tearing him down.
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 11:35 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • I am not tearing him down, I have tried to be compassionate. He doesnt want comp[assion, he wants to not do it. I cant just let him skate by and not do what he needs to do. I really was hoping I would get a response with some support for me, but no once again I am the one whose problem it is! Admittadly it is my problem, but "Sleeping Beautee" you sound like you just want to argue. I do not. I have been arguing all morning and am in tears. Thanks for your reply, but it really only made me feel worse.
    bcnul8a

    Comment by bcnul8a (original poster) at 11:39 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • I would tell him to suck it up and get his butt to school!
    BradensMom1026

    Answer by BradensMom1026 at 11:40 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • You really need to be as sympathetic as possible, no matter how crazy he's making you feel. He's at a very tender age and needs your love and kindness. Perhaps think about some kind of reward you could give him if he makes the speech.
    ceallaigh

    Answer by ceallaigh at 11:40 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • Go on the Internet and google "public speaking assistance." He needs tips on how to speak in public - it's really hard for most grown ups to do, for teenagers it's terrifying. They hate having all the attention on them, and the potential for public embarrassment is high - my son was terrified his first time (he's 13). Tell him that everyone is nervous about it, he's not alone. I understand how frustrating it is for you, teenage boys can be a trial.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 11:43 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • I have an overly dramatic son too. He responds to love and need building up. I tell him how great he will do, I give him tricks to help him get through the tough assignment. I do not tell him to suck it up and to stop being a whiner. I compliment him when he does well and is brave, I hug him and console him when he is having a hard time. I tell him stories of when I had adversities and how I got through them. Those are the things that have helped him be more confident in himself and take on the world.
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 11:48 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • Sometimes tough love is what is needed. I know from the previous poster that I will probably be seen as being mean, but have you tried letting him feel the effects of his bad behavior? Kids need to understand there are consequences to their behavior and to quote and old saying the punishment needs to fit the crime. If he is being nasty to all of you, take care of his basic needs but nothing else, ignore him the rest of the time. If he is giving you grief over school let him fail. I refuse to fight with my kids over their bad behavior, at 14 he should know what is expected of him behavior wise. Fighting with him is just going to drive you crazy and ruin family memories for your other children.
    dance45133

    Answer by dance45133 at 11:59 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • Dance~ I agree...but there are no other children in the home, he has a 27 y/o brother, who unfortunately has moved across the country. He does know what is exspected of him, but he does not seem to care...thnak you for the kind words. I need them at this point.
    bcnul8a

    Comment by bcnul8a (original poster) at 12:02 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • I have a drama son too. While I agree that sometimes you must help them build up, sometimes they just get past the point of listening to kindness. In this case, it is not an option to not give the speech. It will not kill him or scar him for life. You can try to give him some public speaking tips, but If he is like my son, he won't hear you. I would clearly tell him that he is making it harder on himself and in life we just have to do things we do not want to. If he would like to be treated like a mature teen, he needs to start acting like one. Otherwise the option is to continue to treat him like a child, with child privileges. It is very difficult at times to deal with, it does get better though! Good Luck to you!
    MomIWant

    Answer by MomIWant at 12:13 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • Tell him its part of his school work so do it and be done with it and get ready because its more to come.
    mekarevell

    Answer by mekarevell at 1:12 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

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