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2 Bumps

Can you please help me come to some kind of solution to this?

I have 2 teen sk and they come over whenever it used to be every weekend but now that they are teens not as much (mom lets them do anything no rules no dicipline) but my dh is still trying to stay afloat with them he makes sure he is in their face thats probably why they don't come over as much :( Anyway I am trying to get our 2 kids out of their rooms but my dh feels they are still too young ( 9 and 7) I just feel I can't do anything until he says go for it. I am tired of living my world around my sk but my kids need their own room as well they live with their mom but my dh tries to make it as if they live here (weekends only if any time). The other day I told him it would be nice to put our 9 yrs. old in his own room and he says well what are we gonna do with (John) kick him out of the room (he comes over and plays video games all hrs. of the nite) for now my kids r in their room together and we have 2 empty rooms..had2vent.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:42 PM on Sep. 20, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (8)
  • I think your husband is being unrealistic and you need to argue for your kids. Two empty bedrooms for two teens who only come on weekends?

    Answer by SWasson at 2:46 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • We never had our own rooms at my dad's house after my parents divorced. Perhaps his kids could share a room when they come over? I understand why he feels like he does, but they don't live there and they would be OK to share a room for a weekend. I don't know if you have a boy and a girl or whatever but especially if you have a boy and a girl 9 years old is not too young to get some privacy. Do your kids mind sharing? If they don't maybe wait until they ask so it buys a little more time before you fight it out. Otherwise I would just talk to you dh about favoring children who hardly come to visit.

    Answer by ajbrownies at 2:48 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • I think it's nice that they have rooms at your house. It might be bad for them to come over next time and you tell them, sorry, we got rid of your room!.

    Answer by mompam at 2:54 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • He is most liekly upset that he doesnt get to see his kids as often as you do. It may feel to him as if you are getting rid of his kids in doing this with the rooms, but he does need to look at the bigger picture. You have kids in the home 24/7 that need your care more than the step-kids do, especially with the SK being so much older. They can share a room when they're there! They won't die from it! Your kids shouldn't get put on the back burner because they may decide at some point to come and visit.

    You need to sit him down and try to explain the PROs and CONs of the room change and see what he says. But after you talk to him about it, don't make him decide right away. Tell him to take some time to think about it and then get back to you.

    If he down right doesn't listen then he is just a self centered jerk.

    Answer by Memigen at 2:56 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • I think its a good thing your dh want s his kids to feel like they have their own space when they come to visit.

    Answer by okmommy08 at 3:05 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • I feel for your children and you. It doesn't seem fair to have two unused rooms for kids who will only occasionally visit. Unless they are fulltime living with your family I don't think they should have their own rooms. It's basically wasted space. Your not kicking out people out of a home or room they are never really in. If anything at all you'd be making use of the available space. My suggestion would be to redecorate the kids rooms- fresh coat of paint, moving around furniture and creating a better environment for ur kids to relax in.

    Answer by istealcookies at 3:13 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • Do you have any other space you can use creatively? Do you have a finished basement that you can use for activities like video games? Do you have a "home office" room that you can move to a basement or a shared area? It might take some creativity to come up with the right solution - good luck!

    Answer by jinxandjoy at 6:12 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • I agree to lettin them share a room since they're not over much. your kids need their space and growing room too.

    Answer by mekarevell at 12:50 AM on Sep. 26, 2010

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