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2 Bumps

If you and your husband were separated..

and you missed him and loved him still, but knew he wasn't good for you... What would you choose? Follow your heart, or your head?


Asked by MJ_BN_FE at 2:58 PM on Sep. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Level 8 (212 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • It would depend on why he wasn't good for me. If it was something we BOTH wanted to work out, I would try. If he was an abuser, drug addiction, gambling, etc. - something that he wouldn't work on - I would follow my head.

    Answer by Scuba at 3:00 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • follow your gut (instincts) but only listen to that instinct on a clear day
    not a day you are missing him and only thinking of the good times
    when separtated, sometimes a person only remembers the good time, not the whole picture

    good luck, good wishes
    realtionships are hard enough, but when only one person in the relationship is trying it is impossible

    Answer by fiatpax at 3:09 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • I agre with the others; it depends on why he was not good for me. If it involves abuse or drags my life down in any way, I would do my best to follow my head. Your heart can always change, but your head will forever know when something's wrong.

    Answer by aliceryannesmom at 3:08 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • Head. Hopefully. Lol.

    Answer by tiger_tatted1 at 3:07 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • if his no good and he chooses not to change and be a better person then its best to just keep walking and not look back...remember we are an example to our children we all want the best for our kids...if we show our kids that its ok to be hurt by others then they too will follow in our foot will hurt to terminate a marriage but time does heal and one day the man of your dreams will come...


    Answer by iNk-FrEaK at 3:07 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • depends on what was making him not good for me. Abuse, lies, not willing to atleast try and change will not make me want him back


    Answer by virginiamama71 at 3:07 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • It really takes time for your heart and your head sync up, in my opinion that's when the best decisions are made. I have been seperated from my husband for 8 months and didn't want to move home when I did, both my heart and mind were telling me it was a bad idea. I moved home and had about 7 months of pure hell, our relationship was so bad our couples counselor told us to get divorced and she couldn't help us. It takes two people to make a relationship work, and put in the effort to do so, even if you really want in your heart to make it work, if your husband doesn't want to put in the effort it will fail.
    My husband went to counseling on his own after the counselor told him he wasn't putting in effort and he's the reason this marriage was over. The last two months have been better. I guess I didn't listen to my heart or my head, I listened to my insecurity. Resolution takes a lot of time and effort is it worth it?

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 3:11 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • knowing he wasn't good for me would be my way of not following either... No good is no good so my heart is wrong and my head would be wrong for even entertaining the thought.

    Answer by MTM at 3:13 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • i wouldn't stay. my mental and emotional state is most important to me. not my heart it would heal after awhile anyway.

    Answer by melody77 at 3:14 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • I have been in this situation before. As hard as it was, I chose to follow my head.

    Answer by stressedmomma13 at 12:15 AM on Sep. 21, 2010