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For people with bad relationships with their Mom only pls.

My Mom & I don't talk its sad. We just don't click never have since I turned 13 yrs old (am in my 30's now). She is missing out on my kids alot & it infuriates me so much. She is never happy there are always problems when we talk she is just miserable & brings me/us down when she is in our life. Its hard to walk away from & deal with but I have tried & can't deal with her negativity, put downs and her loud opinions. She can be so nice but yet so mean. Too many ups & downs, more down where my husband just can't deal with it either its not healthy. How do you deal with this? Its an everyday bother to me thinking about it as time goes by each day. I have tried I know this.

 
sarasmommy777

Asked by sarasmommy777 at 3:13 PM on Sep. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Level 35 (70,598 Credits)
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Answers (5)
  • I had such a bad relationship with my mother that I moved out when I was 14 and we didn't have any contact from the time I was 15 to the time I was 18. When I was 18, I attempted to have a relationship with her as adults, and I went through several years of up and down craziness. It was just never a healthy relationship. I finally cut her out of my life for good four years ago, and one of the reasons for that was that I never wanted my kids growing up thinking that a mother would treat her children the way she treated me. I never wanted them to think it was ok or normal to have such a difficult relationship with a mother. Since she's been out of my life, it's honestly been like a weight was lifted off of me. It's just such a sense of relief to not have that stress and tension in my life. We're just healthier without her in our lives, and looking back, I wish I hadn't tried at 18 to have a relationship with her again.
    JulieJacobKyle

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 3:33 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • My mom and I get along, but only if we're separated by distance, heh.

    But I do get what you are saying. For me, it's my dad and I. I haven't had a relationship with him basically since I turned maybe 10 (I'm 40 now). He turned to drinking and his family became non-existent to him. It was almost as if he regretted getting married and having kids. I have not spoken to him in 10 years. I plan to visit my family in 2012 or 2013 and it will be the first time he will ever meet my son. I have a feeling he won't even care and honestly, I don't either.

    For you, you may just have to limit contact with your mother. Like I said, I get along with my mother (mostly) as long as there is distance between us, but get us together and it doesn't take much for her to get on my nerves.
    thatgirl70

    Answer by thatgirl70 at 3:23 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • I have always had a bad relationship with my bio mother. Honestly, I did what I had to do for my DD & that is what makes it easier to handle. I found an amazing mother figure in my future MIL. She is an amazing lady & I am lucky to know her.
    stressedmomma13

    Answer by stressedmomma13 at 12:19 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • I am a mom that from the age of 13 my DD just didn't like me, but I didn't care what she said, I was always there for her and always will be. She is 49 now and I was her matron of honor at her wedding and she is and always has been my heart. Things can work out, but your mom has got to try a little more than she is. I hated letting my DD grow up and not need me, but know that's the natural process and I hope this can work out for you hon. I hope your mom can see her actions are feeding your already dislike for her. Give it some space and let her realize what a wonderful DD you are and maybe that will help. I don't know, but wishing for you she will..Hugs

    zbee

    Answer by zbee at 3:40 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • Thanks for all your responses & knowing I am not the only one because sometimes it feels that way when I look around people & family I know & have. This is a real stressful, hurtful and exhausting thing to go through daily because I do think about it & how much time goes by. I am going to work hard at not letting history repeat itself with my girl. I think it would take a miracle to have things good with us. I tried cicvil and I guess my Mom just didn't want to play nice. In the end she is losing out on a lot more. Hugs.

    sarasmommy777

    Comment by sarasmommy777 (original poster) at 2:18 PM on Sep. 21, 2010

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