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2 Bumps

How do you leave??

How do you leave an unhappy marriage and your spouse is a verbally abusive alcoholic i am scared because of the threats he makes about trying to keep the kids from me.

Answer Question
 
momof2girls757

Asked by momof2girls757 at 4:15 PM on Sep. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Level 9 (283 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • You take the kids when he is not there. Up to that time, document everything you can and get a restraining order.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 4:18 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • And your fears are well placed. In a separation possession is 9/10 of the law. Until a custody order is in place, both of you are legally entitled to the children. If he wanted to take them, there would be nothing you could do until you go to court- even then, you would have to go a long way to prove him unfit, and if the kids were well cared for they might remain in his custody.

    When I separated from my ex, he took my then 3 year old and withheld him for 4 months. There was nothing I could do while I awaited a court date. Eventually he screwed up enough that the police wound up taking my son from him in the middle of the night when they raided his home.

    When you do leave, make a court date as quickly as possible to determine custody- until then, ONLY allow supervised visitation. You will have to back up your claims of abuse, so document, document, document. EVERYTHING that happens.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 4:19 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • First of all he has you thinking the way he wants you to. You need to pack you and the children up and leave get him out of the house if the police need to be there then so be it. If you can prove that he is abusive in anyway, then bring that proof with you. You need to protect yourself and the children, your children learn everything by what they see and children are smarter then we think. Get out and away from him NOW. If you want to talk more then please PM me anytime.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 4:19 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • make a plan WITHOUT hum knowing
    when leaving an abusive relationship
    it is the most dangerous when leaving and he knows it
    abusive men are all about control
    when he knows he is losing control, he will increase
    please be careful
    call your local womans shelter, they can help you make a plan and be as safe as possible
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 4:19 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • Make a plan and find a safe place to go. It is not wrong to slip out when he isn't home if it isn't safe to try to leave while he is there. Also, talk to someone in your local area, such as a crisis intervention service or women's protective services.
    TweenAndTwinMom

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 4:22 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • Just get your kids and leave your safety is more important than you staying with him.
    jessesmama22

    Answer by jessesmama22 at 5:47 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • Before you do anything that you may end up regretting later, its always wise to seek legal advice. Contact your local Battered Shelter Association and they will give you all the information you need...if he's abusive around the kids the Battered Women's Association will give you all the steps necessary to get you and your children out of the situation...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 5:57 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • Contact me.....

    OR

    Visiti my profile..................
    SissyAnn141

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 10:38 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • restraining order...

    iNk-FrEaK

    Answer by iNk-FrEaK at 12:42 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

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