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should i be mad he bought a porn subscription

i seen a charge i did not recognize, i asked him and he said no idea. he seemed to get defensive and said i was checking the acct at night because i thought he was pending too much money on games etc. and i told him no im not, your fine..but look if you dont know what this charge is either, i need to check it out to make sure someone did not use our card. he was distant and went to i know why. it was a 3rd party charging service and he bought a subscription into a porn site that expires next month. ($20) i am hurt and i feel betrayed because he did not say anything. i know im right to be upset that he hid this and did not own up when i was asking about the odd charge. should i be mad about the porn? btw i am the money manager so i check the account a lot, its my job. part of me wants to sleep on the couch (he is already on the bed) part of me wants to yell, part of me tear up. how would you react?

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:57 PM on Sep. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • I wouldn't start an argument over the situation.. Just say something along the lines of "next time just ask me hun." Of course I have no problems with my SO watching porn.. So I guess I am different.

    Answer by xxlilmomma09 at 4:58 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • i'd be more mad about him lying to me than, i don't like porn and i'm pretty sure my dh looks at it but as long as i don't see it idc but he knows that if i catch him in a lye he's gonna have hell to pay

    Answer by josiesmommy00 at 4:59 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • I am very different from xxlilmomma09. It would really bother me. You have every right to be mad. I think it's OK for couples to watch porn together if they need a little help getting turned on or something, but i don't think it's OK to watch seperate. I think it takes away the intimacy in a relationship & waters it down completely & can even encourage some men to cheat. It can easily become a problem.Yes, i would bevery upset. He would be on my crap list for a while.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 5:04 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • Don't be mad about the porn be mad about the lying.

    Answer by sweetyazfl at 5:05 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • i would be upset. by the sound of it he knew he goofed up and like you said wouldn't man up to it. my husband would honestly forget he done that. anyway is it that it's porn your upset about or the fact that he was sneaky and wasn't up front with you about. do you not allow him to watch porn and get offended by it. if it's cause he wasn't honest and that he wasted money then i would let it go. it's done you can just tell him how disappointed you are in him wasting money on such stuff. he is a grown man & makes money. so if you have no objections that it's porn then like i said all you can say is that he has ruined the trust between you guys and that your disappointed. i wouldn't make it a big issue that would harm the relationship more. when we over react at times, makes men want to reassert themselves & a power struggle will develop. if it's cause u dislike porn. he got caught read handed. then tell him how u feel and no sex

    Answer by melody77 at 5:06 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • I would be upset about the lying, not the porn. Why does he feel he needs to lying and hide things from you? I would talk about it and make sure he knows that you are really upset about.

    Answer by jshimmy at 5:14 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • Honesty is so important in a relationship reguardless why he didn't tell you. Porn is not healthy for a person in a relationship, I would talk with him and ask him what he is lacking and what draws him towards that kind of stuff.

    Answer by rebelchickrocks at 5:37 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • The lying and sneaking around is what would hurt my feelings. I'm sorry. I hope he makes it better for you by apologizing for lying to you.

    Answer by kksmomma1019 at 5:38 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • hell ya be mad

    Answer by jessesmama22 at 5:40 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • I'd be mad that he lied to me and pretended not to know what the charge was.

    Answer by kld1979 at 9:57 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

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