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is anyone feeling a little less attracted to their husbands body?

i feel so ashamed that i feel this way. i love him very much and even though he is not perfect i still see the best things about him. he was always a little chubby especially when i developed a crush on him. when we started dating he had to stop drinking or else i wouldn't date him. so he lost a beer gut. after we married he has gained it back although i know that he is not drinking. his belly is getting in the way of sex. it's not so much really his belly but that he wants to diet yet i see him eating right before bed or always wanting snack or fatty foods. so i feel disgusted that he has no self control or discipline. why is it i'm turned off by his lack of self discipline? any insight would be great. please no bashing although i can't see why there would be. it's doesn't change the fact that i love him just not his weakness. i'm sure he hates things about me like how i return everything i buy cause i don't like it anymore


Asked by melody77 at 8:02 PM on Sep. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,435 Credits)
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Answers (7)
  • I can relate, when I met my husband he wasn't thin when I met him. I have had two children and have lost most of the weight, except 12 pounds...... He has put on at least 50 over the past 5 years. He always says he is going to lose weight but never stays with it cuz he doesn't see fast enough results. He eats late and has really poor eating habits, even though he doesn't think so, there is always a reason. I also love him no matter what his weight but I find there are some sexual positions we can't do..... I wish he would put his all into it but .................... I don't see it happening

    Answer by mommyscrazy3 at 8:45 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • You are turned off because a woman wants a man who does exactly what he says he is going to do. If he said he was going to mow the lawn and didnt, or save money and didnt, or any other variety of things it would be unattractive too.

    I personally dont find out of shape men attractive at all. I have been married to my husband for 17 yrs and neither of us look like we did in our mid 20s.... but we still do our best to look our best. It is kind of an obligation of mariage to keep yourself attractive to your partner.

    I know that doesnt help at all other than to validate your feelings.  You STILL LOVE him... he just needs to man up a bit.  Maybe start asking him to walk after dinner with you.  Only make enough servings for the number of people in the house (no left overs).  There are little things you can do to help him on his way.


    Answer by sahlady at 8:14 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • Hmm well I've always loved my SO's lil beer belly... but then I've never really been big on the super athletic type either... Maybe he's just as self conscious about it as you are. I know that when I wanted to lose some weight I got rid of all the snack, fatty foods and chopped veggies and fruit and put it in the fridge instead of reaching for yucky stuff I had good stuff all ready to go. It may be that he's not feeling the support he maybe needs from you in order to start really working on it? Try and make it a positive experience for him and maybe things will start to turn around.. You could also make it somethin y'all end up doing together, that might be just want he needs. :) You may be turned off by the lack of discipline because you can see what harm it's doing to the man you love?

    Answer by RigPrincess85 at 8:21 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • I love my hubby just the way he is yes he put on some more weight but I still love the way his body looks.

    Answer by davecswife at 8:25 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • i don't like my df's lower back hair. he has had back hair since he was young. i have always been turned off by back hair. his hair isn't horrible like a caveman's. lol. although i don't like it i still love him and accept him for who he is. he's self conscious about the way he looks. he's chubby too. i think he is sexy as a chubby man. i don't like thin men. maybe you could hide snacks or not buy food that's going to make him gain weight. or perhaps have him walk around the block with you. maybe if you help him he will be more motivated.


    Answer by xavierlogan09 at 9:29 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • I have been with my husband for 10 years this November. When we first met he was a size 32 over the years he got up to a size 40/42. I was a size 2 when we met and got up to a size 10. 4 years ago we both decided to go on a diet and before I knew it in 4 months we both lost a lot of weight. I was in a size 4 and he got to a size 34. It helped that we did it together. Today I have gained a little weight but thats because I had another baby but with my husbands help we are back on track. So maybe it will help if you do it together. I couldn't have done it without my husband helping me and vice versa. Good Luck!

    Answer by momofangels5 at 9:46 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • i don't buy the sweets never been a fan of sweets. go just goes and buys them like all the time. we do plan on trying to jog at night but it's still hot in arizona. i mean it's 8 pm and it's still in the 90's. i make healthy dinners he just isn't trying while he is at work. throw it all out the window. i don't mind some chub in fact i like that but i don't like the spare tire rolling over me while he pushes. i'm to small to handle it. thanks ladies.

    Comment by melody77 (original poster) at 11:08 PM on Sep. 20, 2010