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7 Bumps

how can i move forward after losing a baby boy at 16 weeks pregnant

ive pushed everyone away and it still hurts so bad

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brittney.h.

Asked by brittney.h. at 9:25 PM on Sep. 20, 2010 in Pregnancy

Level 4 (49 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Maybe it's time to get those people back. It may always hurt, but at least you'd have some support from the people you love.
    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 9:28 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • Have you gotten any professional help yet? I would strongly advise a counselor or maybe a grief support group. I coudln't imagine how much pain you mist be in, and it's not good that you are pushing people away. Even if you aren't ready to be around your loved ones yet, it might be time to find someone else to talk to. Big hugs to you, and message me privately if you want, anytime.
    getrealmama

    Answer by getrealmama at 9:33 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • In 2004 I gave birth to an 11oz baby boy, he was 22 weeks old. He was still born. It took a long time before I could even look at another baby without wanting to cry. Even to this day every Sept 18 I remember him and what he may have been. He was my first son and always will be. I now have 2 wonderful children, I had to plan my pregnancy's and be on bed rest but the one I lost led me to the ones that I have and love more than anything in this world. I just have to think that when we loose something sometimes its for the best. I know that it hurts now but the people around you love you. Let them be there for you. Now you know that you have trouble having children and the Dr can help you. 

    cally101123

    Answer by cally101123 at 9:42 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • At 20 weeks I lost my baby girl 18 years ago. It was very hard even with the 2 children I already had. My sister was also pregnant and due only a month later. I will say I cried daily for almost a year, missing her, even though I never even got to see her. My doctor thought it would be better to have a D C instead of a regular delivery due to the placenta position. I don't know I may have done it different now.

    It will get better, believe me, I have been there. What was also hard was people coming up to me and asking me when the baby was due. I hated to tell them she had died knowing the the awkwardness it would bring. It is hard, I know.

    After a year I decided to try again, and went on to have 2 more children afterwards. She would have been 18 the first of October, and I do still feel a part of her always. I don't mourn for her anymore, but if sit and think about it, it does make me feel sad. But it is ok.
    homeschoolin432

    Answer by homeschoolin432 at 10:15 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • Find someone you can talk to, It will help immensely.. I have been there 2 times. PM me if necessary, I am available if you would like to talk.
    candcsmom2008

    Answer by candcsmom2008 at 11:16 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • I'm so sorry ((hugs)) It will take time for your heart to heal. I would let your family help you through this and plus there is support groups on here for miscarriage.
    ladyambition

    Answer by ladyambition at 12:38 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • I am so sorry.

    I agree with the first poster that maybe it is time for you to get those relationships back. It is good to be surrounded by kind, loving, nonjudgemental people in times like this.

    I would also highly recommend getting some counseling and joining a grief support group. It's easy to snarl at the idea of a support group, I used to do the same thing, but I have found that talking about things with a party who is not involved is a blessing in times like this.

    God Bless You.
    hsmominky

    Answer by hsmominky at 1:05 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • You definately need to talk to someone and open up your feelings. I had two back to back miscarriages and I never talked to anyone not even my husband and we had so many problems. I know its not easy to talk to someone about this kind of thing, but believe me, if you do, it helps you cope a whole lot better.
    meggy23

    Answer by meggy23 at 4:42 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

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