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How can i stay if he cheated?

He told me the truth so we could move on and save our marriage . He lied so many times and got caught by my sister so he confessed. He begged me for forgiveness and wants to get help to save our marriage. The truth is if he did not get caught he would have continued his affair , i think. I am so lost someone help me.

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tanya351

Asked by tanya351 at 10:21 PM on Sep. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Level 2 (8 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • if he sounds sinsere with his appology then give hi another chance but if he soulds like he is saying it cuz he had to then talk to him about why...and get some counceling and that should help
    jesslovesyou08

    Answer by jesslovesyou08 at 10:23 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • If you eel he is truly sorry than move forward with him. It will take a lot of time before you can trust him again and hes gonna have to understand that. Plus, I, sure a lot of anger on your part as well. I think if your love is strong enough and he is willing to change hen saty and see what happens.
    katcb1019

    Answer by katcb1019 at 10:26 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • Honestly to me, I wouldn't stay with him.
    However that's my personal choice. Maybe you need some time apart to get your head together.
    Good Luck.
    Mrs.Halloween

    Answer by Mrs.Halloween at 10:27 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • No one can really answer this for you. I would kick him out if this was me. You even said if he didn't get caught he would have continued it so he's not really sorry he had an affair he's just sorry he got caught. MOST of the time once a cheater always a cheater. He may do it again and hide it better next time. I'm sorry you are going through this. Stay strong for yourself and your kids. I hope you find the answer that's right for you.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 10:28 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • over 2 years ago I cheated on my husband. I live with the guilt and pain of it everyday. I wish I never did it. I can barely stand knowing what I did to him and our marriage. My husband is a great guy and I am thankful everyday that he is still with me. I know that I love him so much and no matter what we were going through at the time I should never ever have done what I did. I loved him so much at that time so I don't know why I did it besides me being selfish I guess. But I know that with all I have I have been trying so hard to show him that I am sorry and  love him. It's hard on him but he has been amazing and we have a strong marriage right now. I know personally if he truly loves you and wants to work it out its possible but hard. If you feel he is really wanting to work it out then give him a chance. He may truly be sorry and wants to be with you.

    momofangels5

    Answer by momofangels5 at 11:06 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • I would not stay with him either expecially if I thought it would have continued if he hadn't gottten caught, he was sorry he got caught not because of what he did most likely and more that likely will do it again but be more sneaky about it the next time. But you need to do whats best for you, if you want to make it work I would suggest counceling for both of you. Good luck and stay strong. Hugs !!
    countrygirl06

    Answer by countrygirl06 at 11:09 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • I was there.... I left. I would have never trusted him again and could not live like that. If he was 5 min late home from work or got a wrong # on his call I would have been devestated every time. I didn't have it in me to for forgive/forget. I pictured myself crying my eyes out any time I thought of it or had a glass of wine.

    You need to answer this for yourself. If you can forgive, you cannot bring it up over and over. If you cannot forgive.... let it go. You deserve to be happy and at ease in your relationship.
    Niki_sd

    Answer by Niki_sd at 11:24 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • Maybe he wanted to get caught to be able to stop the affair
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:11 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • i would walk...if he did it once what guarantees you he will not do it again and again and again...in his eyes you forgave him so why not over and over again...and to top it off if he had sex with a woman in the street you have no idea what he might bring home to you (STD)...i am so anti-cheating...its like if you dont want to be with the person or you have a confused d*** then bye bye bye...plain and simple...


    bad

    iNk-FrEaK

    Answer by iNk-FrEaK at 12:26 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • My opinion: Make him prove that he wants to make things work by going to marriage counseling with you and actively participating in working towards positive change.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 7:53 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

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