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How can I prepare now to adopt in 10 years?

I can still remember the day I decided I wanted to adopt. I was 5 years old, alone in my room and I don't know how my mind got to it or where the idea really came from but its never gone away. I'm not in anything even close to a secure situation right now. I have a lot of changes to make to my life right now but I don't want to give up my dream. To anyone who has done this- What do you think are some important things to start working on now to prepare for the adoption process over the next 5-10 years? I want to be prepared. I certainly don't want to get there and find out that i could have done something years ago to improve my chances if only I had known.


Asked by GoldenLinds at 12:16 AM on Sep. 21, 2010 in Adoption

Level 15 (1,941 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I think it's important to think about your motivation. Are you interested in adopting kids who have been removed from their first homes and are in foster homes (free)? Are you hoping to adopt an infant that may have otherwise been aborted (expensive)? Are you looking to give older children (who, in most cases are "unadoptable") a home and a shot at a better future, like the ones adopted from overseas then given up again when they're too hard (inexpensive)? Do you want to adopt from impoverished areas outside of the US (expensive)?

    Once you answer that question, then you will have more direction. After you've decided, then research that particular area of adoption. I urge you to search blogs. People living the life have so much more information than you'll ever get from professionals or their literature--though that is useful too. Read Daniel A. Hughes. Make friends with parents with adopted kids. Good luck!

    Answer by hideinthepantry at 3:28 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • I'd suggest reading up on the adoptee experience.

    Your adoptee may or may not have the same experiences as you read about, but at least you will be prepared
    and not spend time energy and emotion demanding that your adoptees' feelings about their adoption at any given moment are- wrong.

    Answer by adopteeme at 2:34 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • As a waiting adoptive parent, the snarky side of me says start saving money now! That's not exactly true, you can adopt for not a lot of money, so just take that as tongue in cheek. :)

    Other than that... I'd agree with adopteeme... read read read read read. There is a lot out there about the process of adoption, but also about trans racial adoption, adoptee experiences, adoptive parenting, fost-adopt parenting, foster adoption, etc. I found some books by looking at different adoption agencies, some of them have a list of recommended reading. Rather than going broke on books, see how many are in your local library, or that the library can get via intra-library loan.

    Also, talk to adoptive parents, birth parents and adopted adults. Learn about their experiences. Ask what they would want you to know.

    Good luck, I'm confident that you'll be ready whenever the time comes!

    Answer by TwoBrownDogs at 11:03 PM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • I would start a savings account. If you use the money for your adoption then you aren't starting with any debt. I know families that have taken second mortgages to be able to adopt. If you have money in the account that you don't use, then you have some financial stability and a nest egg that will make your life more comfortable.

    And yes, read everything you can get your hands on. You should know what can happen so when the one or two things that do happen you are ready for. It will also help you decide which direction you would like to go. The other thing you should do is be very very honest with yourself. If you know that you can not handle a specific medical condition you need to know that and make sure you are ready to take on things your new child has. You will be asked what you are able to do.

    Answer by 7babies4me at 10:16 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • Thanks ladies you've all offered great advice. Hideinthepantry- your questions were excellent and really helped my evaluate my own situation to find a good starting point. Personally I've always prefered the idea of adopting an older child but not necessarily one in foster homes (although not ruling them out). I'm perfectly capable of having my own child (fingers crossed) so I'm not pressed with adopting an infant. I actually am drawn more towards those just over 10 years old. No particular reason, just instinct I guess. Anyone who has any particular suggested reading would be wonderful.

    Comment by GoldenLinds (original poster) at 1:20 AM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • Save you money!
    Decide what kind of adoption you want to do, open or closed.


    Answer by Roadfamily6now at 11:40 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

  • Do your research on ALL sides of the adoption triad

    Start saving now

    Don't get arrested

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 12:09 AM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • LOL AllAboutKeeley - those are *exactly* the things I was going to say.

    Answer by WomanWitty at 1:03 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • research and go to an agency cause rules change gl

    Answer by mekarevell at 12:35 AM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • Call my mom. : D

    Answer by LadybugTash at 7:19 PM on Jan. 12, 2011