Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

i don't know what to do???

ok so i got pregnant in march with my boyfriend at the time. he asked me to move in with him and to marry him straight away. the only thing is he lives a gud 45mins from me and where i work and all my friends, he was mad at me when i said i wantd to stay in my apartment and continue working til closer to the time. i wanted to marry him, we already spoke bout it befor i got pregnant. in the end i stayd til i was 3months and then moved in with him. the reason i didn want to move so soon is cos i knew i would feel like the way i do now. no friends, nothing to do and nowhere to go with no money. it sucks bigtime. i love him but now hes findin it hard to support the 2of us and has startd spendin all his free time playing games on the computer. he feels bad cos he cant afford to buy me some new cloths or get my hair cut rite now cos he has to pay the bills. so i understand he wants space but what am i ment to do? im so alone.

Answer Question
 
otoole

Asked by otoole at 12:22 AM on Sep. 21, 2010 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,742 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Unfortunately lonliness comes with parenting at times. I found that even though I lived near many of my friends, since I was the first to have kids, nobody wanted to hang out with the mom. I was very depressed and had to learn how to make friends all over again. It is just not as easy as it was in high school when everyone was around all-the-time. Seek out things that you like to do and do them. Maybe take a painting class, or join a book club. Most areas have MOPS clubs (Mothers Of Pre-Schoolers). These ladies will have a lot in common with you and your issues.

    The point is, seek out new relationships and cultivate them. Your BF is scared too. That is why he is escaping through video games. He will have to discover for himself that it will still leave him empty. As you meet new people, encourage him to meet some too. Try to do things that are new for both of you that you can learn together!
    WyndenSkie

    Answer by WyndenSkie at 12:34 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • thanks. it feels good to know that other people understand how it feels. somedays are easier than others. this past week ahs been hard and we useually do something together on saturday, but this week, nothing. i made dinner and he eat it in the room he plays the games. we haven eatin together in a while now and its really starting to hurt. why am i here? why did he want me to give up everything so bad when this is how it is? its really starting to bring me down alot.
    otoole

    Comment by otoole (original poster) at 12:42 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • He did not know any more than you did! All parts of life is a risk. And everybody has to deal with the realization that "this is NOT what I signed up for!" But character is not about not having problems, but how you overcome them! It sounds like both of you are spiraling into depression (which is normal for not seeing outside people). It can seem easier to just sit and watch TV and hope tomorrow is better. Trouble is, it wont be any better unless you get your butt off the sofa and out the door and learn how to live life again! And yes, it will feel like an uphill battle for a while. Keep going! As you discover a renewed sense of purpose in life, he will not be able to ignore the change in you and want to come along!

    This is NOT about money. I had 4 kids myslef and struggled every day to keep the lights on and get food. Its depressing. But there are really LOTS of neat things to do that do not cost anything.
    WyndenSkie

    Answer by WyndenSkie at 12:53 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • yeah you are right, im useually a very positive person, but lately i have been finding it hard and your right i do keep thinking mayb tommorrow will be better and it never is, its gettin worse.i have a dog i walk alot, to give him space and me to get out. we try to do things like go to decoration stores and dream of wat we would like to do to the house, and he asks me what would i like to do and i always tell him, just take me to the park and will have a walk around together to get out, it never happens. and of course i get worried bout the money to and then he tells me not to worry bout it, that its up to him to look after that, but i do want to no where its goin and to help him sort it out so we can mayb b more prepared for the bills.
    otoole

    Comment by otoole (original poster) at 1:00 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • Just tell him you want to start working again till you have the baby and call you friends more have them come over or go see them.
    jessesmama22

    Answer by jessesmama22 at 1:08 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • I wish you all the luck!
    CarolineDezon

    Answer by CarolineDezon at 10:19 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN