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4 Bumps

I have a question about my daughter who has been adopted by my hubby..

The sperm donar contacted me for the 1st time in 10 years...yes 10 years. ..1st off he started.calling me everything but a human being...I was like..uhm ok? He said that I have raised my daughter "to be as hateful as you and your mother and the only good thing about that is your mom is dead the F***ING B**CH" I was angry..very angry...but I breathed in, and was like, why on earth would he say that and what the heck??? He found us here on FaceBook....so I texted back, uuhm "Taryn was adopted by her DADDY in 2000. YOU didnt want to be on her birth certificate, YOU lost ALL parental rights to your 3 sons (whom I didnt even know you had.)., YOU havent contacted us in 10 years...YOU lost all parental rights to her because of no contact in all those years...so what is it you want exactly....he said and I quote..."HER and iif I cant have HER I want visitation".

Answer Question
 
Leeleesluv98

Asked by Leeleesluv98 at 12:55 AM on Sep. 21, 2010 in Adoption

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • Hmmm...too bad for him I guess. If she's adopted, can he even get visitation?
    thatgirl70

    Answer by thatgirl70 at 12:59 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • o wow thats crazy i beleive he doesnt have no right to b in her life she gots a daddy n she doesnt need a looser like that to come ruin her life n confuse her like that... she gna wonder y do i hve 2 dads at that age she dont need to go threw that u shuld get a lawer n c what happens i just dont find it right for him to do that after so many yrs....
    sandi_361

    Answer by sandi_361 at 1:00 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • Once the Court Does TPR (Termination of Parental Rights), which is required before an adoption can take place, then the person who's rights were terminated has no rights. Legally, the law says that they were never the parent and the adoptive parent takes on all responsbilities as a part. So I would say that he is just crap out of luck!!!!
    hsmominky

    Answer by hsmominky at 1:01 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • Remember, please, that once your daughter is of age she may want/need to know her father.
    He may not have any parental rights with her now, but even in death there is no such thing as an EX (mother or father).
    Quote: "the law says they were never a parent".
    Law cannot erase that the daughter shares his and all his ancestors DNA. Law cannot erase her truth that she has 2 fathers.
    One day...she might like to be privy to that knowledge.

    Allow your daughter that choice in the future
    adopteeme

    Answer by adopteeme at 2:10 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • He has no legal rights to her and he sounds scary. I'm surprised you even replied to something like that.


    Adopteeme is right though. Just because he has no rights to expect to see her, she has every right to know him once she's an adult.

    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 2:59 PM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • Like the other ladies said she may want to see him when she is older. You told him she was adopted by your husband, he needs to know nothing else. He has no rights for anything. Give him time to cool down and he may try to contact some attorneys and they will tell him he has no rights, although you maybe served with papers if he doesn't tell the attorney the child was adopted. But, nothing will come of it and he will waste his money. My son's BF took a year to stop being mad that my husband adopted my son and then he decided he wanted to see him, I let him while I was there. That slowly moved to unsupervised visits over the weekend. We have since moved out of state but, he keeps contact with his siblings. I would warn the school though just incase he tries to go to her school.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 8:06 PM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • It sounds like he wants something and if he waited this long there has to be a reason. Does he really want contact with your daughter or is something else prompting this? Has he contacted his three sons? I would document everything and if he continues I would consult an attorney. You might want to find out about taping phone calls from him so you have proof in court just in case you ever need it. And verify what the laws are where you live on how that works before you do it.
    7babies4me

    Answer by 7babies4me at 10:33 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • I don't know about the legal standing of the sperm donor, but I don't think the courts would allow an adoption if he had any claim whatsoever on Taryn. By the way, love the name, my first is named Taryn too! I agree with 7babies4me. There seems to be an underlying cause here. If he wants to have contact, start off by asking for 10 years of back child support and then you can talk. But document everything he says and does so that if he does pursue this, you can show the court what he has been doing. Good Luck and congratulations on the adoption, I hope you Taryn and her Daddy are all very happy.
    Heartmusic

    Answer by Heartmusic at 6:20 PM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • I would note the time and dates he's called and file a restraining order against him. If he wants to be in her life he'll have to go through the court system, which will mostly likely deny him those rights since he dissolved them himself, so he'll pretty much be SOL. But be sure to file for the restraining order to stop the harassing calls.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 10:32 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • Nope he doesnt get vistation becuz she is not longer his!!! And he did this not you so dont feel bad let him try to fight but since she was adopted and as long as it was leagal you have nothing to worry about. You could put him jail for even comming to ur house or her school
    duckiesgurl

    Answer by duckiesgurl at 12:32 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

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