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hi,my 2 yrs. old daughter is very naughty ,she is very stubburn .she used to hit anybody who comes in front of her if they dont do what she wants .i really confused how to handle her.please suggest something that is really effective & practical.

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ridhima

Asked by ridhima at 2:46 AM on Sep. 21, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 3 (25 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • Well, my impractical suggestion is a whole shift in your perspective on parenting, that your daughter is not naughty but normal and seeking to establish her independence. Reading books like "Playful Parenting," "The Continuum Concept," and "Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves." Getting free emails and support on shifting parenting perspectives from The daily Groove (http://www.scottnoelle.com) and learning about validating feelings and respectful dialog. All that's a process, one I am very much still in. My practical suggestion is focus on what you DO want her to do instead of what you DON'T want her to do. I got this advice from a good friend and veteran parents. If I tell you NOT to think of a pink elephant, what are you going to do? So, whatever you are repeating (like "don't hit") all she has in her mind is the word HIT and the abstract concept "don't" (she can't make a pic of it in her mind).
    Bellarose0212

    Answer by Bellarose0212 at 4:04 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • So, HIT is what she focuses on. She also can't know how you'd like her to behave if you don't tell her. So just FOCUS on what you DO want her to do, like go over here, or touch nicely, or ask for what she wants, etc. Try and make it concrete (not just "play nicely") so she can follow the direction. Please don't think this is a judgmental comment, I still tell me daughter "don't" and "stop," it's a process, but giving an action for her to do really does work a lot of the time.
    Bellarose0212

    Answer by Bellarose0212 at 4:07 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • Praise her when she does things right and give positive reinforcement. She might be going for the negative attention if she isn't getting enough positive attention. She needs plenty of hugs and kisses too.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 6:13 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

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