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7 Bumps

Cheating husband at work

My husband of almost 3 years is getting a full time job for the first time...and i am terrified because he tried to cheat on me twice already and im afraid that he is going to again......what can i do?I am afraid that he will cheat and leave me out in the cold.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:01 AM on Sep. 21, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • ...Why are you still with him? He's already proven that given the chance, he'll cheat. Dump his ass and move on with your life, find yourself a man who will respect you and WANT to be faithful to you because he LOVES YOU, not because he's afraid he'll get caught if he cheats!!!

    Just my two cents.
    SarahLeeMorgan

    Answer by SarahLeeMorgan at 3:06 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • Ok, this is NOT a bash or an attack on your or your dh, so please don't take it that way. But honestly, there's really nothing you can do to stop it. Yes, you can work to make your marriage stronger, but if, in 3 yrs, he's already tried to cheat on you 2 times, then, honestly, you're married to a man that falls into one or more of the following - he just doesn't believe in monogamy, he doesn't doesn't really love or respect you (or your marriage vows) enough to be faithful, he has a sex addiction, or you're imagining that he's trying to cheat.

    I don't know which it is, because I don't know you guys, but honestly, 2 times in 3 yrs is a problem no matter what the reason and it's one that you can't fix - he has to. You have to either accept it or leave him (or, if he doesn't believe in monogamy, and you're ok with it, have an open marriage - for BOTH of you...).

    cont
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 3:09 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • If you don't trust him to even work... then you are with the wrong guy.
    Be honest with yourself.
    Niki_sd

    Answer by Niki_sd at 3:09 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • Try not to push him away by not trusting him. What do you mean tried to cheat on you twice?
    Congenial

    Answer by Congenial at 3:09 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • Yeh... what do you mean "TRIED TO CHEAT"?
    did he or didn't he? What is tried?
    Niki_sd

    Answer by Niki_sd at 3:10 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • cont

    Personally though, I think you deserve to be with a man that loves you and respects you enough to be faithful to you without you having to worry about him trying to cheat. You should be able to be his wife, not his jailer, having to be with him all the time or keeping tabs on him all the time to make sure he stays faithful, like he's some dog on a leash sniffing around people's butts... And, honestly, if he's not worked full time in 3 yrs, then how would you leaving him (or, for that matter, him leaving you) leave you high and dry - he's not supporting you financially, and if he's doing this to you, then he's not supporting you emotionally either....

    You deserve to be able to trust your spouse. Just something to think about...

    Good luck!
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 3:12 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • only you really know what to do hun
    LoVe4Free

    Answer by LoVe4Free at 3:25 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • no matter what you do if he wants to cheat he's going to cheat, you can check on him, check his phone, try to be at every lunch break, he's going to find a way. I can understand why you wouldn't trust him since he's cheated on you twice, Talk to him and let him know how you feel and your fears about this, also I don't think I'd stick around past a 3rd affair, he's had 2 chances too many, You deserve better then that, but prepare yourself for both situations, he might not cheat, or he will cheat again, either way what are you going to do next?! Stop worrying about him soo much, begin to worry about yourself and your self worth, what would you tell a friend in your situation?! It's easier said then done, but you deserve a lot better. Good luck!
    babyangelromero

    Answer by babyangelromero at 3:44 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • I've never been cheated on or "tried" to be cheated on by dh. But here's what I think: If you inquire about his cheating nature in a nonconfrontational way and he can't look you in the eyes or seems to be avoiding the question or gets mad then he's probably already cheating or is going to cheat. From what I've seen in other relationships, once they cheat they can't stop. If he's truly sorry for the past then maybe he's ok. But defonitely have respect for yourself that if it happens you wont stand for it. Let him know thisand mean it whrn you say it otherwise he has no reason NOT to cheat in his mind. Because like children's thinking, if there are no consequences, why not just do it?????
    SweetLoveofMine

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 4:02 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • what does having a full-time job have anything to do with him cheating on you? - you said he cheated on you twice in the past when he didn't have a full-time job - i would think that now he would be more occupied with putting more hours in at work - or are you afraid he will have more of a chance because there will be women at the place where he will be working? this sounds like a communication problem to me - you need to sit down with him and tell him your fears and find out exactly where he stands and tell him the consequences if he messes up again - and stand by them - but, you must mean them or he might cheat on you again - keep a close watch on him - once a cheater, always a cheater - that's my opinion - good luck to you!!!
    kaysimon132461

    Answer by kaysimon132461 at 5:59 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

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