Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

need opinions

i have two children from a earlier relationship that i have full custody of my new fiance who i am expecting a child with wants to adopt them and change thieir names to his name should i allow this or should i just leave things the way that they are?

Answer Question

Asked by stevensmommy007 at 3:15 AM on Sep. 21, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 3 (22 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • depends on what there bio dad thinks. if he is in there lives or not? if not and never has been. then i would say yes.

    Answer by firstimemomm603 at 3:16 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • well the most important thing is what do you think and feel about this? Are you going to marry him? are you going to change your last name? I gave my daughters my last name at birth me and my baby's dad weren't together and I didn't know if he was going to stick around and didn't want to have to explain to people why MY daughter didn't have my last name but had the last name of a person who wasn't carrying for her, same things with my second daughter (birthed by the same dad as my oldest) then my baby's dad and I got married and I have his last name so it was alot easier to change my kids last name to his. if your going to carry his last name, you might want to have your other 2 children with the same last name as you and your new baby. IMO.

    Answer by babyangelromero at 3:37 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • What do your kids think are they old enough to understand?

    Answer by Ameliamomo2 at 3:48 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • I would leave names the way they are. Dh had something similar happen as a child and he lost a lot of self identity buy the name change. You don't want your kids thinking your ex is no longer their daddy do you?

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 5:03 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • I think it depends on what your ex thinks, how old your children are and if they can have a say in the matter. After my parents divorce and my mom re-married some time later, I wanted to change my last name to theirs because I felt like an outcast, but I didn't because it would have crushed my Dad. I ended up living with my Dad a couple of years after that anyway and I definitely fit in with him.


    Answer by Babycakes323 at 6:02 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • that depends on if the other dad is in the picture and close they are to him. i changed my name to my moms last name after she got re married to my stepdad and my dad and grandma ( with the previous last name) were kind of upset. i guess its up to the kids ( unless they are too young) then its up to you. i wouldnt unless you really didnt want them with a different last name then yours.

    Answer by hotmommy420 at 1:23 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.